[00:00:00] Adam Walker: From Susan G Komen, this is Real Pink, A podcast exploring real stories, struggles, and triumphs related to breast cancer. We’re taking the conversation from the doctor’s office to your living room.
[00:00:17] Today’s conversation is a deeply personal look at what it means to be diagnosed with breast cancer at just 30 years old. We often hear the statistics that more young women are being diagnosed, but numbers can’t capture the shock of finding a lump before you think you’re even old enough to worry, or the life altering shift that happens when you’re put into medically induced menopause.
[00:00:40] Caroline McNally knows the struggles of being in the thick of treatment and the isolation of being diagnosed younger than most. She also knows about strength, hope, and learning how to advocate for herself and others. Caroline, we’re so excited to have you here on the show today to share your story.
[00:00:57] Welcome to Real Pink.
[00:00:58] Caroline McNally: Thank you for having me. No one’s more excited than I am.
[00:01:02] Adam Walker: Well, I think that’s an important conversation because like, like I mentioned, like we, we talk about these stats but putting the story to them, you know, really helps to bring them home, I think for us that, that aren’t actively experiencing it.
[00:01:16] And so, so let’s walk through your story. I mean, how did you know there was something wrong when you’re 30 years old and you’re not typically looking for that sort of thing?
[00:01:27] Caroline McNally: Right. So I, the way my story starts is similar to so many of its kind. I was just existing the way I normally did. I was on the phone with my sister and I was holding my phone with my right hand, and my hands are always cold.
[00:01:42] So what happened was I put my left hand under my right armpit to kind of warm it up, and I felt a massive lump on the side of my right breast and just based off of its size and what it felt like I knew pretty much immediately that something was wrong.
[00:01:58] Adam Walker: Wow. That is like a, I mean, that’s almost like an instantaneous shift.
[00:02:03] I mean, I think most people that I talk to, they suspect there’s something wrong. Right. But I mean, it sounds like you like kind of instantly knew something was wrong, like that’s shockingly fast. Like tell us about that instant shift for you.
[00:02:18] Caroline McNally: Well in the moment I was on the phone with my sister, so I was trying to listen to what she was saying while also not completely spiraling out.
[00:02:29] It just, yeah I had this sensation of like ice forming just from the top of my head to the bottom of my spine. Like something was so wrong and once I felt that, it was like my body was telling me, you need to get this checked out. It was like a very, almost like a primal response that I had to it.
[00:02:47] Adam Walker: Yeah. And walk us through just a quick overview of your story, right? You went and got it checked out. You’re and then I, so you’re, you are in treatment because we talked about, we mentioned in the intro, kind of early menopausal, like, tell us about that trajectory for you.
[00:03:04] Caroline McNally: It moved so fast from the time that I found the lump to the time that I got the diagnosis to the time I started treatment was a complete blur.
[00:03:13] Yeah, I started menopause. I was put into menopause in October. Through a shot called Lupron and perimenopause is the process of your body going into menopause, which happens anywhere from your late thirties to your late forties and into your fifties. And at that age, and for me, perimenopause lasted about 12 seconds.
[00:03:36] Instead of 10 years. So the shift was really dramatic. I am having all kinds of metabolic issues because of it. Hot flashes, mood changes, everything that you would associate with menopause, but just put through a loud speaker is what it feels like. There aren’t enough ice pops in the world for the hot flashes, but you manage because you don’t have a choice.
[00:04:01] You have to just get through it.
[00:04:04] Adam Walker: I appreciate how you framed that. You know, you went through a decade’s worth of stuff in about 10 seconds like that. I think that really helped me, that really helped me to kind of draw a picture of like, what that must have been like for you. What, what’s it been like?
[00:04:18] I mean, there’s a lot of side effects related to that too, right? I mean how are you dealing with all those.
[00:04:25] Caroline McNally: Well, you put the fires out where you can, and I will say that I have an incredible team. Every issue that I’ve encountered has been met with compassion and competence. And if I don’t get a resolution for it, then it’s pretty close to a resolution.
[00:04:42] So..
[00:04:43] Adam Walker: Yeah.
[00:04:43] Caroline McNally: Just being communicative with my team about what I need has really been a huge part in making sure these side effects are mitigated.
[00:04:52] Adam Walker: Yeah. Yeah. Advocating for yourself is just so critical. And that’s, so, I’m glad you brought that up. All right. So, so tell us more of your process.
[00:05:01] I mean did you undergo like what other treatments did you undergo and kinda walk us through that process.
[00:05:07] Caroline McNally: Right now I’m in the middle of chemo. I’m about halfway done. I started with Dose-dense AC, which is Adriamycin Cytoxan, which is nicknamed the Red Devil.
[00:05:18] Adam Walker: Mm-hmm.
[00:05:19] Caroline McNally: That gives me a lot of confidence about injecting that into my body.
[00:05:23] Yeah. Every two weeks, something called the Red Devil.
[00:05:27] Adam Walker: Yeah.
[00:05:28] Caroline McNally: Yeah, and it was hard. It was hard. Yeah. AC was really hard. But now I’m on Taxol, which is every week.
[00:05:33] Adam Walker: Okay.
[00:05:35] Caroline McNally: It doesn’t sound like it, but having it every week is actually much easier on your body mm-hmm. Instead of having this bomb dropped on you
[00:05:42] once every two weeks. Okay. So, I’m just grateful that I’m feeling much more human these days, and the side effects have actually been much more manageable than they have been.
[00:05:53] Adam Walker: Yeah. That’s good. I’m, it sounds like you’re on an upswing, at least at the moment, so I’m glad to..
[00:05:58] Caroline McNally: At the moment.
[00:05:59] Don’t jinx it.
[00:06:01] Adam Walker: No. I’m glad to hear that. So, so we know, wait, I mentioned this earlier. We know women are being diagnosed at a younger age, but you know, hearing stats is different than being able to like directly hear through about your experience. So, so like what is it like being 30 going through this process?
[00:06:24] Caroline McNally: This is something I actually ask myself a lot just to check in with where I’m at. And it’s such a complicated question to answer because as you go through life, you hear people say, oh, they’re a cancer survivor. Oh, my mom’s a cancer survivor. But there’s, now that I’m in this there’s nothing you could do or think of
[00:06:45] that could prepare you for being in this situation. Your body and your mind just feel like they are actively working against you at every turn. And it’s exhausting. But also because of that, you will surprise yourself in, in, in a lot of ways you’ll surprise yourself with a strength that you didn’t know was there, or a passion for something that you didn’t know just fed this higher purpose in you.
[00:07:14] So, while it is so, so difficult, I don’t recognize myself, none of my clothes fit. There is an underlying sense of you have to get through this, so you might as well just do that.
[00:07:29] Adam Walker: Yeah. You have to get through this, so you might as well just do that. What gives you..
[00:07:36] Caroline McNally: The best way to put it.
[00:07:37] Adam Walker: No, I mean, I, I think that’s well put.
[00:07:39] What gives you strength and hope to continue to get through that?
[00:07:46] Caroline McNally: Doing this. This gives me hope because when I tell you that I really would’ve benefited from knowing that this could happen when you’re 30 without any genetic mutations or family history. The fact that I’m starting to give presentations locally to local groups and write articles, it, it gives me hope that there might be somebody who hears what I have to say and they feel inspired to check themselves, and they take their own health and their future into their hands by checking themselves.
[00:08:15] Yeah. And they could effectively save their own lives. That’s what gives me hope, is knowing that there is a future where women can be healthy.
[00:08:24] Adam Walker: Yeah. And you’re contributing to that future. Right? That’s why you’re here. That’s why you’re doing what you do. I love that. I love that. Tell us about your support system.
[00:08:33] How, like, no, nobody does it alone. What’s your support system look like?
[00:08:38] Caroline McNally: My support system is vast. It is very far reaching. It comes in all shapes and sizes. It includes humans and animals alike.
[00:08:49] Adam Walker: Okay. okay. I like it. I like it.
[00:08:53] Caroline McNally: I, my cat is staring at me right now. I have to pay the cat tax. Okay. It is…
[00:09:00] I am so lucky to just be somebody who has been fire hosed with generosity since the second this started. I am so unbelievably lucky to just have someone I could turn to no matter where I am, no matter what’s going on for anything. That is the most grounding thing you could possibly have while you’re going through something like this.
[00:09:24] Yeah. I love my support system and everybody in it.
[00:09:28] Adam Walker: Yeah, I love that. The, and the cat tax is, are there any other animals or is it just the cat right now? Is that the main one?
[00:09:34] Caroline McNally: My housemate has two dogs. I have two cats.
[00:09:37] Adam Walker: Oh, wow. Okay. All right. And they all cohabitate? Presumably
[00:09:42] Caroline McNally: They do.
[00:09:43] They do, yes.
[00:09:44] They all get along. It’s great.
[00:09:46] Adam Walker: Okay. All right. So I’m curious. People respond differently to being told that, that someone has breast cancer. And I think they probably respond even more differently to being told that you being at 30 years old have breast cancer. And I guess like, I like, it makes me curious, like what types of reactions have you gotten and what reactions have been the most meaningful to you?
[00:10:18] Caroline McNally: I, the one reaction that I get a lot that I want to mention is this. When I tell somebody I have breast cancer, they look at me and they think, because I’m young, they’re like, oh, catching it early is helpful, but just because I’m 30 I’m young doesn’t mean it was caught early. As a matter of fact. People don’t understand that when you’re younger, it tends to be more aggressive and caught later because there aren’t the measures that older women have in place, like the mammograms and the self checks.
[00:10:49] So that’s actually a reaction I get a lot and a misconception. I think that is very far reaching as well. But a lot of the times also I’m met with a lot of support and I’m sorry you’re going through that. You’re going to be okay. I get that a lot because a lot of times people don’t know what to say.
[00:11:10] I know. I don’t know what to say when somebody else is handed something like this so it you just take it all with a grain of salt people mean well by and large.
[00:11:21] Adam Walker: Yeah. I think one of the things that I’ve learned from hosting this show and just having a lot of these conversations is when someone tells me something
[00:11:31] that’s like profoundly bad news, right? And I have no idea how to respond to that. My default response is that really sucks. Like and I’m, I’ll be here with you. But that, like, that, like, let’s just name that sucks.
[00:11:46] Caroline McNally: Mm-hmm.
[00:11:47] Adam Walker: And then I, you know, and then we can go from there. I mean is that, does that resonate with you?
[00:11:51] Does it, is it helpful to you when people just acknowledge that this is a crappy thing you’re dealing with and then they’re kind of in the space with you in that moment?
[00:12:01] Caroline McNally: Oh, sure. It’s incredibly validating when you have somebody say that to you. I just I don’t like pity. I don’t like, yeah.
[00:12:08] I know people pitying me. That’s where I draw the line.
[00:12:11] Adam Walker: No, for sure. For sure. Yeah.
[00:12:12] Caroline McNally: Any, anything anybody’s got to say that’s en encouraging or supportive of any kind? Of course, I’ll accept that.
[00:12:18] Adam Walker: Yeah. Yeah. That’s good. I appreciate it. I just always like to think through. That, like, what do you say when you hear that news?
[00:12:25] Because it’s just so hard for people to know Yeah. How to respond and..
[00:12:30] Caroline McNally: Yeah.
[00:12:31] Adam Walker: From your perspective, like you have such a unique perspective on it that I like to ask that question. So, so what does life moving forward look like for you as you continue to navigate your breast cancer journey?
[00:12:44] What’s what are you doing right now for it? What are you looking ahead for?
[00:12:49] Caroline McNally: Well, right now everything looks really overwhelming. I have a long road to go still. I am not even done with the first part of treatment yet. But life going forward looks more aligned with a purpose that is so much bigger than just me.
[00:13:11] It means doing advocacy and starting in community outreach and providing education and access to these resources that people desperately need and don’t even realize That they need.
[00:13:26] Adam Walker: Yeah.
[00:13:27] Caroline McNally: So as I continue to navigate this, I really hope that I can turn this into something that can really help myself and others heal.
[00:13:37] Adam Walker: Yeah.
[00:13:38] Caroline McNally: If that makes sense.
[00:13:39] Adam Walker: It absolutely makes sense. Yeah. And I love that. That’s just beautiful. I really appreciate that so much. Last question for you. What advice would you give someone newly diagnosed under 40 or maybe even under 30 that they feel a lump. What would you say to her?
[00:13:57] Caroline McNally: It would be different.
[00:13:58] It depends on if you’ve found a lump versus if you’re just newly diagnosed. I think.
[00:14:02] Adam Walker: Okay. Give, give me both, give me both answers.
[00:14:04] Caroline McNally: Well, first of all, everybody who has breasts should be checking them no matter how old you are. That is the first thing I will say to basically anybody. But if you specifically find something… we’re taught as women, that is like the scariest thing that could happen, but
[00:14:22] does it hurt to get it checked out? You know, I mean it, you can’t just say it’s just a cyst because you don’t know that.
[00:14:28] Adam Walker: Yeah.
[00:14:28] Caroline McNally: So again, it’s about reclaiming the narrative, taking the control of your health and your future and saying, I should get this checked out because this could be something bad.
[00:14:38] Adam Walker: Right.
[00:14:39] Caroline McNally: And if it is, then you will have caught it. That’s what people don’t understand. It’s, yes, it’s so scary to do it, but it’s going to be there whether you know about it or not, so you might as well know about it and get it checked out. That’s right. And if you’re newly diagnosed, deep breaths, because there is no amount of
[00:15:01] imagining or scheming that could prepare you for what’s coming because treatment is so subjective. It affects everybody differently. Everybody’s trajectory is different.
[00:15:12] Adam Walker: Right.
[00:15:12] Caroline McNally: Try not to compare yourself already or over Google things there. It makes no sense to make yourself nuts before you’re even in anything.
[00:15:22] So deep breaths. Gather your supports and you will find the strength in you that you just did not know existed. Promise.
[00:15:32] Adam Walker: I love that you shared that last part. You’ll find the strength in you did not know existed because that is absolutely a unifying theme in this show. Like, the women that I interview are yourself included, are profoundly strong and so impressive in so many ways.
[00:15:52] And yeah, you’re right. There is a, there’s a reservoir strength there that I think people don’t know they have. So.
[00:15:59] Caroline McNally: It’s a terrible way to find out you have it, but Yeah.
[00:16:04] Adam Walker: That’s true. That’s true. It’s a terrible way to find out. Yeah, that’s right. That’s right. But but it’s there when you need it.
[00:16:09] That’s right. Caroline thank you for sharing your story. Thank you for being honest and vulnerable and real. And and thank you for just the encouragement, the inspiration that you give to so many people. We so appreciate you and appreciate what the work that you’re doing.
[00:16:25] Caroline McNally: Thank you so much for having me.
[00:16:26] I appreciate you guys too. You’re doing an incredible thing for the women of the world, so thank you.
[00:16:36] Adam Walker: Thanks for listening to Real Pink, a weekly podcast by Susan G Komen. For more episodes, visit real pink.Komen.org. And for more on breast cancer, visit Komen.org. Make sure to check out at Susan G Komen on social media. I’m your host, Adam. You can find me on Twitter at AJ Walker or on my blog adam j walker.com.