[00:00:00] Adam Walker: From Susan G Komen, this is Real Pink, A podcast exploring real stories, struggles, and triumphs related to breast cancer. We’re taking the conversation from the doctor’s office to your living room.
[00:00:17] Welcome to the Komen Health Equity Revolution podcast series on Real Pink. I’m your host, Adam Walker. Each month in this series, we bring together patients, community partners, healthcare providers, researchers, and advocates to talk about real challenges and real solutions driving the health equity revolution.
[00:00:36] Today we’re exploring what happens when survival requires more than strength. It requires grace. Our guest, breast cancer survivor and advocate, joy White discovered that letting go, softening and advocating for herself became the real pathway to healing. Her story is courageous, culturally resonant, and deeply honest.
[00:00:57] Joi, welcome to the show.
[00:00:59] Joi White: Thank you, Adam. I’m so happy to be here.
[00:01:02] Adam Walker: I’m happy to have you. I love having conversations like this and I can already tell this is going to be a great one. So take us back to that first moment where you realized something was wrong and walk us through things from there.
[00:01:16] Joi White: Absolutely. So at the beginning of January, 2024, I went in for an annual exam with my gynecologist. I’ve been under her care since 2013. So she was well aware of my family history. During the exam, she felt something in my breast and told me that she wanted me to get it checked out. At the beginning of February, I had a biopsy, and two days later my doctor called and shared the unfortunate news that I have breast cancer.
[00:01:48] I am a very results driven person, so my first thought was, what needs to be done? I went into solution mode and focused on the next steps, the emotions, the fear, the processing, the grief, all came later.
[00:02:04] Adam Walker: And what, like what was going on in your world, in your life at the time? I mean, there were LA fires if memory serves you’re a mother.
[00:02:14] Like how did all, and how did all of that sort of shape your experience?
[00:02:18] Joi White: So the fires actually happened almost a year after my diagnosis, right before I started radiation. At the time when I was diagnosed, I was genuinely looking forward to 2024. I said, mentally, this is my year. I had built a lot of professional momentum and felt excited about what, what was coming.
[00:02:43] After my diagnosis, I decided to step away from work. For about six months and focus on my health. This pause was necessary because it forced me to slow down, reassess my priorities, and put my wellbeing first. It reshaped how I thought about balance, ambition, and what truly matters.
[00:03:05] Adam Walker: Yeah, that makes sense.
[00:03:07] A. So I want to talk about advocacy for a moment. Did you, were, did you end up in a position where you needed to advocate for yourself? And if so what did that look like?
[00:03:21] Joi White: Great question, Adam. So, it was around the time my surgeon recommended a mastectomy. This was after my second lumpectomy.
[00:03:34] I asked her, so what you’re saying is that if I go through chemo, have a mastectomy and still find out the chemo eliminated the the cancer, I would be left with no breasts. And she said yes. I knew I needed to get more information. So that’s when I decided to get a second and third opinion. Advocating for myself in that moment changed the course of my treatment, I would say.
[00:04:03] Adam Walker: Okay so you got the second and third opinion. And if you don’t mind me asking, like what were, what was the result from that?
[00:04:09] Joi White: So what, this is interesting. I’ve, I’m learning this or I have learned this. All these doctors know each other. And I’ve been Los Angeles. It’s a huge city, but they all know each other.
[00:04:25] It’s a very small world. So. Since they all know each other, you still have to ensure that they are being objective, but expect that they are being somewhat subjective. The second doctor I, or the third I should say the third opinion I got from the second doctor I saw additionally, she gave me a very, I’d say, objective view of
[00:04:56] what to do, what I should do in a way and it gave me a lot of food for thought, I would say. So I did decide to keep my breast and fortunately the chemo worked, so it put me in remission.
[00:05:14] Adam Walker: So it sounds like then, like getting that second, third opinion shifted the course of your care in the, in a more preferable direction is like what I’m hearing you say.
[00:05:23] Is that right?
[00:05:24] Joi White: Yes, because one thing I told both of those doctors, I am not doctor shopping to get an answer that I want to hear. You know if everyone’s consensus is like, yes, you should get the mastectomy, then I guess that’s what I have to do. But since that’s not what I really want to do, I am definitely going to get a second and third opinion before I do something so drastic.
[00:05:51] Adam Walker: Yeah. Yeah. That’s smart. That makes sense. Now as a Black woman, how did cultural expectations of sort of being strong impact your journey and sort of your process?
[00:06:04] Joi White: Well, I definitely had several people tell me, oh, you’re so strong. That sounds like a compliment. It can also dismiss the mental turmoil, the physical pain and emotional weight of cancer.
[00:06:16] Strength can become something you’re expected to perform, and there were moments when I broke down and I allowed myself to do that. I gave myself the space and grace to experience what was what I was going through instead of pretending I was okay.
[00:06:33] Adam Walker: That’s good. I’m glad that you did that because your process, you know, through your journey shouldn’t be performative.
[00:06:40] Right. But I think sometimes we get, people get pigeonholed and, but it shouldn’t be, it should be. It’s your journey. It’s not performative for anyone else. Right. So now this episode is about grace as survival. So what does grace mean to you now?
[00:06:57] Joi White: Grace means giving myself grace. It’s been very, I’ve been very hard on myself most of my life.
[00:07:03] Some of that comes from how I was raised. I was raised in a very unforgiving environment. Some of it comes from being taught. I had to work twice as hard to prove my worth. I’m still hard on myself. I’m not going to pretend that I’m not. But now I have no shame in saying I do not feel well. I need to rest.
[00:07:25] There’s a misconception that once you’re in remission, everything just goes back to normal. That has not been my experience. So Grace is meeting myself where I am.
[00:07:39] Adam Walker: Yeah I’m glad you shared that. I know a lot of guests have shared that after treatment was actually harder in some ways than during treatment.
[00:07:46] And so that, that adjustment is incredibly difficult. So let’s talk about this shift for a minute. I mean, what emotional or mental shifts allowed you to begin healing on your own terms.
[00:07:58] Joi White: I removed toxic people from my life and set some boundaries with some of the people who remain in my life.
[00:08:06] I also became more self-aware. I started paying more attention to my own behavior and how I show up personally and professionally, and that self-reflection was essential to my healing.
[00:08:19] Adam Walker: Yeah. I mean, removing toxic people, I feel like is always so difficult, but I think critical when you go through something like this.
[00:08:25] Right?
[00:08:27] Joi White: Yeah. I am, my second surgery there, there was someone in particular, as soon as I woke up, I sent them a, I don’t know if you’d call it a Dear John text, but I’ll say it was in a very polite way. Go kick rocks text.
[00:08:45] Adam Walker: Okay. All right. I, yeah, I mean you got to do what you got to do, you know for your own health, both mental and physical.
[00:08:55] So I definitely understand that. Now, let’s talk about sort of navigating the healthcare system for a moment, and what challenges did you face sort of going through the system, and where did support make the biggest difference for you?
[00:09:10] Joi White: Sure. So after radiation, I had an adverse reaction and developed a strep in my left breast, which required wound care and hyperbaric oxygen treatment.
[00:09:24] The insurance company initially didn’t want to cover it. I’m incredibly grateful to my wound care doctor and the patient advocate that he works with. They worked with the insurance provider directly. That support was a financial game changer for me. I fully understand now how people can go bankrupt while dealing with a serious illness.
[00:09:52] Adam Walker: Yeah, that’s right. Yeah, that’s good. I’m glad you got that level of support. What do you want other women to know especially Black women about taking risks or about putting themselves first?
[00:10:10] Joi White: Well, I wanted to even call putting yourself first a risk. If you don’t put yourself first, you can’t fully show up for others.
[00:10:18] And putting yourself first is not selfish. Black women are often everything to everyone, especially when they’re successful. There’s an added layer of expectation. I used to prioritize my job above everything. I still show up and do my work well, but my physical and mental health now come first and I am unapologetic about that.
[00:10:45] Adam Walker: Yeah. I wonder, you know, could you talk a little bit more about sort of that culture of putting other people first and how that can be detrimental to your own health? Because I’ve heard that verbalized a few times from guests on this show, but I wonder if you could just expound on that a little bit.
[00:11:02] Joi White: I can, and I don’t know if I will articulate it as eloquently as I’d like to, but what if we talk about culturally, sometimes not always the case, but sometimes. If you are a part of a certain generation, you are the first for everything. You’re the first to go to college to get your degree. You might be the first working in corporate America and navigating that can be difficult in itself.
[00:11:35] But then if you add the layer to, let’s say… you come from a family where you are the star or you are the one who made it, there is that expectation culturally to take care of others. And then that can extend, I think, just from a monetary standpoint, but just always being the one to show up and solve problems.
[00:12:00] I know I am a problem solver. I’m very proactive and I’m very assertive. So sometimes I just feel like I have to do everything to get things done, whether it’s you know, with an elderly parent or my child, a spouse. You know, there are just a lot of things that I feel like, well, I need to do this, but I realize I can ask others for help.
[00:12:27] I don’t have to be everything to everyone because I cannot spread myself thin anymore.
[00:12:36] Adam Walker: Yeah. That’s right. That’s good. That’s good. All right. Joi, last question for you. What message of joy would you like to leave our audience with today?
[00:12:48] Joi White: Sure. So healing doesn’t always look strong or polished.
[00:12:53] Sometimes it’s just about slowing down, setting boundaries and choosing yourself even when it feels uncomfortable. Grace is letting go of who you think you’re supposed to be and honoring who you are in this very moment. You don’t have to earn rest. You don’t have to prove resilience. You are already worthy of all of that.
[00:13:20] As this episode airs, I’m celebrating a milestone birthday and what I’m looking forward to is for me to continue as my mantra is claim it, own it, thrive. It’s not just a saying to me anymore. It’s how I try to live my life. I claim my needs without apology. I own my story without shame, and I choose to thrive with intention and self respect.
[00:13:49] So to me, that is grace.
[00:13:53] Adam Walker: Love that. That’s beautiful. Well, Joi, you know, thank you for the work that you’re doing to advocate for sharing with the community And thank you for joining us on the show today. Love your story.
[00:14:03] Joi White: Thank you for having me, Adam. I really appreciate it.
[00:14:07] Adam Walker: And for anyone listening, if you or someone you love needs support navigating breast cancer from emotional support to help finding local resources or financial assistance.
[00:14:17] Komens Patient Care Center is here to help. Call 1 8 7 7 GO KOMEN or visit komen.org/patient care center. Thanks for joining us for another episode of the Komen Health Equity Revolution Series. We’ll keep bringing you conversations that shine a light on the barriers to care and the people directly affected by them and working to break them down so that everyone has the chance for better breast health.
[00:14:43] Thanks for listening, and we’ll see you next time on Real Pink.
[00:14:51] Thanks for listening to real Pink, a weekly podcast by Susan G Komen. For more episodes, visit Real Pink.Komen.org. And for more on breast cancer, visit Komen.org. Make sure to check out at Susan G Komen on social media. I’m your host, Adam. You can find me on Twitter at AJ Walker or on my blog adam j walker.com.