[00:00:00] Adam Walker: From Susan G Komen, this is Real Pink, A podcast exploring real stories, struggles, and triumphs related to breast cancer. We’re taking the conversation from the doctor’s office to your living room.
[00:00:17] Welcome to the Komen Health Equity Revolution podcast series on Real Pink. Each month we bring together patients, community partners, healthcare providers, researchers, and advocates to talk about real challenges and real solutions driving the health equity revolution. Together, we’re working to close the gaps and create a future of breast health equity for all.
[00:00:38] I’m Adam Walker, and today I’m honored to be joined by Guerdy Abraira. You may know her from the Real Housewives of Miami, but beyond the Cameras, Guerdy has shown incredible strength and resilience as a breast cancer survivor. This National Breast Cancer Awareness Month, we’re talking about the power of sharing your story,
[00:00:55] building community and why organizations like Susan G Komen are committed to ensuring that no one faces breast cancer alone. Guerdy, thank you for joining us on the show.
[00:01:04] Guerdy Abraira: Thank you so much for having me, and perfect timing during this breast cancer awareness month.
[00:01:09] Adam Walker: Yeah I’m glad that we were able to catch you during this, and I appreciate you taking the time to with us.
[00:01:14] Take us back to when you first received your diagnosis and what that moment was like for you.
[00:01:20] Guerdy Abraira: Well, it started out as a beautiful day in St. Bart’s actually. I was helping my, one of my best friends plan her 10th year anniversary. So this was a planning trip and I’m looking at the water and everything’s amazing.
[00:01:31] I just finished breakfast and then my phone just rings and I see my gynecologist and I’m like, because I know his number, I have his cell phone. And I’m like, why is he calling me? And automatically I knew something was wrong. I had done my mammogram proactively for years prior to, so this was my, I had just finished a regular temporary, you know a routine mammogram.
[00:01:51] And I guess a couple days later he calls and I’m in St. Barts and I’m hello. Don’t say a word. I want to patch in my husband right away. So I mer my husband because I know something is not right. And so then he says Guerdy, you know, I have some results for you and I don’t want you to panic because
[00:02:10] it’s the best of the best case possible, as if the C word could have any best case scenario. But yes, it does. He says it’s DCIS, which is considered stage zero, which is the development beginnings of potential cancer. However, he says, no worries, this is non-invasive. It’s, you know, you’re gonna maybe just get a little tiny lumpectomy to carve it out and you’ll be fine.
[00:02:31] So I’ll see you back when you can get back from, you know, back in town and we’ll, do you know the rest of it? The biopsy, the MRI and so forth. After doing the additional testing, we find out that there was a development of an actual invasive you know, stage one B within that tumor. So that’s where things took a turn because after doing what’s called the Oncotype score, which you know, gives you the recurrence potential rate of that cancer coming back within five year span, we realize
[00:03:00] that my score is 29, which converts to about a 36% chance of it coming back. Now is the conversation of the other C word. Okay, now we gotta talk about chemo. And you’re gonna have to be on a hormone therapy anastrozole for five years, and you’re gonna have to have a hysterectomy and you’re gonna have a, you know, so the whole thing started adding up and radiation.
[00:03:21] So now it become a, it becomes a bigger deal. So the emotional rollercoaster behind that, you don’t understand. I’m like, good news, bad news, good news, bad news. It was really hard, and you know, the first time that we went under to do the lumpectomy to clear it before we started the other treatments, we didn’t clear the margins.
[00:03:38] So you get the, I think everything went well. I think you’re gonna be ready to go four days later. Oh. We didn’t clear the margins. You gotta come back in. You know, so it was always a build on to the scenario and it was like a horror movie that would ne that never wanted to end, you know? So it was really hard.
[00:03:56] And you know, the physical toll obviously took its turn because then after all this stuff, four rounds of Chemo, 20 rounds of radiation, two lumpectomies a hysterectomy, then, you know, you have to do the reconstructive surgeries. And that was also a whole other, you know, game. Yeah, that was emotionally and physically completely draining.
[00:04:20] And not only for me, but obviously for my whole family. It was a complete yeah, emotional rollercoaster is what I can call it. Traumatic.
[00:04:28] Adam Walker: That, that, that sounds like a lot. And I mean, wow. Like just ups and downs and ups down and honestly, I mean, the forethought you had to sort of put your gynecologist on hold, dial your husband in.
[00:04:40] Yeah. Like that’s a, that’s pretty impressive. I don’t know that I, or anyone else I know would have that kind of forethought.
[00:04:46] Guerdy Abraira: That’s a party planner in me. So I’ve been a wedding event planner for 25 plus years, and I’m all about, I’m the fixer. The thing about the cancer is that I am usually the fixer.
[00:04:57] I know it all. I’m like, okay, we’re gonna do this problem solve. I am the one that’s in control. And then this. The first thing I thought was, okay whoa. Don’t even give it to me. You know, give it to me straight here. I need my husband on the line, and we’re gonna tackle it together From the beginning.
[00:05:11] I, I needed my soulmate next to me. Yeah. Yeah.
[00:05:14] Adam Walker: So, so you mentioned, you know, the ups and downs and ups and downs and ups and downs. I wonder, can you walk us through like what some of the biggest challenges you faced were, I mean, either physically, emotionally, or even professionally?
[00:05:25] Guerdy Abraira: Yeah, so like I said, you know, being the fixer, being the one in control and those attributes that are considered, oh my gosh, she’s got her crap together, right?
[00:05:34] It all comes actually from trauma, from my childhood. So there’s lots of layers of past stories that, that build me to be that strength and that girl that’s like always in control. And then being not in control and having to literally be like a walking zombie with my husband, who’s actually the one that takes a back seat in the proactive, you know, here and there, logistics.
[00:05:57] He’s now being like, okay, we need to go to the doctor. You gotta get ne Lester shot. Get up sleep, go to the bathroom, do this. And I’m like, this is not who I am. So that derailed my entire. Being that just now being the a, a walking vegetable that just doesn’t even know what, what was going on. Add on the chemo fog and all of that stuff.
[00:06:17] It was just not the Guerdy that I used to be. So the challenges were intense. And in addition to that, I do think that, you know, representation matters in this field and in any field, of course, but the fact that communication with your care, your medical you know, caregivers. It’s so important because I had a challenge that now that we’re talking about it, which was I keloid pretty much every time, if you cut me, we’re gonna get a bump.
[00:06:47] You know, it’s just a elevated, you know, a high thyroid scar they call it or something, but hypertrophic scar or something. So my, I tell my doctor, after doing the reconstructive surgery, I am going to keloid because we’re doing now removal of my implant. We’re doing a lift, we’re doing a lollipop scar, the whole thing.
[00:07:07] And I’m like, it’s going to be the biggest bump under my breast and it’s gonna be very painful. And he is like, nah, let’s see how it is. And I’m like no. You don’t understand it like I’m going to keloid. And so he decides to say, let’s just go through with it, see what happens, and then we’ll talk about it after you heal in a couple months.
[00:07:24] And I’m like, okay. A couple weeks later, the bump starts with lifting and I’m in excruciating pain. I go to him and I said, I told you so. I told you so I told you so. And now what do we have to do? I randomly hear about superficial radiation therapy from my radiologist who I was just like complaining about it.
[00:07:44] He’s like, well, what did he do in SRT? And I’m like, excuse me, there was a solution for this? So I was not happy to say the least because I’m like, we could have discussed it. You could have preventively just given giving me the procedure. Right, right. Back to back because it’s covered by insurance.
[00:08:00] So it was not a money issue. So it was just a matter of like, I don’t know if it was a power struggle or something like that, but it was kind of like you have to listen to your patients. So for anyone out there, you know that’s, you know, facing this kind of disease, you have to heavily advocate for yourself.
[00:08:16] Because the challenge for me was I went under the knife, cut myself open to go back onto the knife, to cut out the scarring, to go back you know to fix it. So it was a double whammy for no reason. It could have been avoided by just saying, okay, you know what? Proactively speaking, let’s go ahead and do the surgery.
[00:08:32] With five therapy sessions of the laser right back to back as you’re healing. And it would’ve been a flat, you know, flat scar. Now I have a flat scar, but we could have avoided it, you know? So, yeah.
[00:08:43] Adam Walker: Yeah. There’s an easier path to getting there, right? Yeah.
[00:08:46] Guerdy Abraira: Yes.
[00:08:47] Adam Walker: So I know you’ve been really open and very public about your journey mm-hmm.
[00:08:52] . What made you decide to share your story with the world?
[00:08:57] Guerdy Abraira: Yeah, so, you know, here’s the way I looked at it. Before I was, you know, I was a cancer, you know, I, a diagnosis, I was a girl who, you know, I have, I had it all my life is amazing. I don’t complain about anything. I have an amazing husband who loves me over 30 years together.
[00:09:14] I’ve got two beautiful smart kids. I have my house I have everything I a career. I’m healthy. And so for me, I’m like, I decided to get on the show, to show all of that, right? To be that inspirational, aspirational. And then I’m like, now that things go rough, I’m gonna like back out and just be like, okay, I’m going under.
[00:09:31] You know, as if I have the plague and I’m like, we’re not going out. We’re not going out like that. We’re going to be the real, in reality, because I showed you the real, when everything was good, and why not now show you the real when things are not so good. And how I recover and stick the landing after that.
[00:09:46] So it empowered me to want to do that because now it’s like I owe it to myself to, to stick this landing. And now I’m an ambassador for people because I’ve never seen, I’ve never seen anything that what I did. I never saw it. I didn’t even know I was gonna do it until it was happening, was shaving my head, my husband shaving my head on tv.
[00:10:04] It was traumatic. The most beautiful thing afterwards that I’ve ever seen. The way he’s like, oh my God, you’re so beautiful. You know, you did it. Like, you know, it was just unbelievable. And so I just, it felt right. It felt right to do the, it felt like the right thing to do.
[00:10:18] Adam Walker: Yeah. That’s great.
[00:10:20] Now, earlier you kind of alluded to how cancer sort of took away parts of your I identity in the sense that like, you were very in control. You had all the, you had all the, you were the detailed person, and suddenly you’re not the detailed person. And so I guess I wonder like how has breast cancer changed the way you see yourself and the way you see your life today?
[00:10:40] Guerdy Abraira: Very good question. So before breast cancer came into my life, I was the, like the person that you called you know. In the event business and industry. You didn’t, I didn’t need a last name. You know, my name is very unique obviously. So people are like, oh, you’re working with Guerdy. Oh my gosh, it’s gonna be fabulous.
[00:10:59] And I had such a reputation. I was named one of the top planners in the world by Vogue and Harper Bizarre, Martha Stewart, the Knot, the whole thing. And I had this reputation and I was so good at what I did, but I realized that because of my childhood trauma, which again is in my book, which we’ll talk about in a second I
[00:11:16] showed up wanting to be this savior of all things. So when I did an event, it was like, okay, check out the list. Where do you want me, Portugal? Check out the list. You know, la me, Mexico. So I was the girl that didn’t even have an office. When people asked me, where are you based? I’m like, out of an airplane, what the hell do you need me?
[00:11:33] Right? So by doing all this, I realized it was like an, it was like a shopping bag. One event. I was like, I got this kind of event. I got that kind of event. I’ve done this one, I’ve done that one. And I never said no until all of a sudden you open up this bag and it’s empty. You think it’s satisfactory, but it’s empty because you get the applause.
[00:11:54] Guerdy amazing event. My God, thank you for doing my daughter’s wedding. They leave. I never see them again, and then I come home and it’s like, what about my family? What about the things that matter around me? So this empty bag is literally what I realized that cancer changed that for me to realize, like it’s not about any of it.
[00:12:11] It’s not about that. It’s about literally being still in the moment and appreciating literally the little things like just waking up and having the time to stretch and do like, be selfish and do you, so now I am like complete or I try to be opposite from the girl who was picking up the phone even while she’s getting up to see who left a message what’s the to-do list of the day?
[00:12:39] I don’t do that anymore. I sit in my bed, I give myself a lymphatic massage. I drink my whole eight glass out ounces of water. I just pace myself. Baby steps. One minute, one second, one day at a time. That’s what I got. So that’s the new Guerdy and that’s how cancer literally changed me in the best way to be in the moment.
[00:13:00] And it sounds cliche, but it is true.
[00:13:02] Adam Walker: I love that. I love and I appreciate you sharing that. Now you mentioned your book, so, so tell me a little bit more about that.
[00:13:09] Guerdy Abraira: Yeah, so my book is called From Trauma to Trophies, and it’s a book that I could not have written at any other time but now everything’s meant to be in the universe and honestly.
[00:13:20] It brought me to this moment where some big things happened to me that were traumatic, both, you know, in, in past years and recently as recent as what’s aired on this season of the show with some, you know, cast members and, you know, very unexpected stuff happened and you turn, you have to try to turn pain into purpose.
[00:13:41] And in writing this book, it’s talking about just how, you know refuel this, you know, don’t sit in the victim setting. Right, because it could become a habituation of your own life and give it purpose some way, somehow. So when something bad happens, you look at it and say and I’ll give you an example. My name is Guerdy.
[00:14:04] My first, the first thing that I actually came to the United States with was Sheba, and it’s Quin Sheba is the whole thing’s. A beautiful name means so many things in the biblical world, but guess what? When you’re nine years old, you don’t speak English and you’re, they ask you, Hey girl, what’s your name?
[00:14:19] And you’re like, Sheba. And they’re like, what? Bomb. Bum. And next thing you know, your song becomes a bomb bum name, right? Like this is the drumming. Yeah. So I had to realize eventually like, okay, this is not the best you know, breaking of the ice. So we went with my first name, which was Guerdy, and that was much easier, but..
[00:14:36] Guerdy was also still something that I hated. I hated my name. But then I realized that when people are like, oh, you are working with Guerdy. Okay you’re G it’s gonna be amazing. So my name became a verb in a way. So now Guerdy, I’m like, oh, I’m gonna Guerdify your wedding, honey. I’m gonna tify, I’m gonna Guerdify your life.
[00:14:53] So now I’ve got Guerdian, I’ve got Guerdians of the galaxy. Yeah, everyone wants to be a Guerdian. Everyone like my supporters, they love it. And I love my name because of the fact that I it’s not about the phonics of it all, it’s about the purpose of it. It has a purpose and it equates something big, you know?
[00:15:10] So I just now, you know, love the turning pain into purpose, you know, so that’s all about that pivot.
[00:15:18] Adam Walker: Turning pain into purpose. That’s beautiful. I love that. Yeah. Yeah. So tell me you, you mentioned earlier about, you know, your husband was kind of there like reminding you to do this and having to do that.
[00:15:29] Like what role did your husband did your family, did your friends and community play throughout your breast cancer experience?
[00:15:35] Guerdy Abraira: Big question. So. My inner circle, you know and you have to start small. Aim small, miss Small. I’ll never forget that from Brave, what was that? Braveheart? The Patriot. The Patriot movie.
[00:15:47] I love that. He’s like, Chelsea started, they shooting and they’re like, aim small, miss Small. I love that. So I’m like, okay I got more where just came from. Trust me. I’m one of those people. I got an anecdote for everything. Yeah. So then, you know, I decided to keep my core very small, and that’s my husband and my two children.
[00:16:04] Those are the, that’s the circle of trust. Not even my parents. I didn’t want to, I didn’t want to burden any anyone, and made them feel like heavy with me, you know? But this was something that I had to do by myself with literally my core. So that was my circle of trust. And then, you know, I tried to shield to the best of my ability, my parents and so forth.
[00:16:22] Everybody wanted to come down. I, one of seven kids, what am I doing now? Hosting you when I have cancer? Where’s the sugar? Where’s the, I just couldn’t, I’m like, please stay where you stay put. Okay. Yeah. Right. And then. And then it extends a little bit. So me obviously sharing on TV created a secondary community virtual, right?
[00:16:41] And these are the people that are like, I see you. My mama had cancer. I had cancer. What stage were you? And that was really empowering because I didn’t feel alone and I felt like I, I became this voice for some and purpose. And then there’s the community of the, for example the girls on the cast now, you know there were, you know, it was cool.
[00:16:59] But there’s an incident where one of them mistakenly she says that she blurted out to the other girls that I had cancer. And this was after I told her not to say anything. So you have to understand how shocking the world was. Like who does this? You say don’t say it. And the person says it like, and acts like, oops.
[00:17:15] You know, it’s a big deal. because I was not ready to share it with the real world. because we were filming and filming Takes about eight months before you guys even see it. So in my mind I’m like, okay, I have time to process this and put out this message when I’m ready and tell the girls it, it didn’t pan out that way at all.
[00:17:31] So I had to rush through my mental psyche of like, put together a statement quickly and just like, you know, pr it out before it got leaked out and that was traumatic, you know? So I think what, when people saw that, they’re like, that’s why I don’t tell no one at work. I have cancer. That’s why, you know?
[00:17:48] So in a way, I actually became a teachable moment without even knowing it. Because I was going through it myself, but it with people, it gave them an optic of like, I could see how this is like crazy. Like this is wild. It’s traumatic, you know? So a lot of, there’s a, there was a lot of, I think, learning curves in filming my story and in people also learning from watching my story and yeah.
[00:18:15] So that was intense.
[00:18:18] Adam Walker: That sounds intense. Okay. Yeah. Now we’re recording in October. It’s National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Talk a little bit about why awareness is so important, especially for women who feel kind of have that it won’t happen to me mentality.
[00:18:32] Guerdy Abraira: Yeah. Well listen, honey, one in eight women or men will have breast cancer and one in three will have another type, any other form of cancer.
[00:18:40] So it’s gonna happen to someone very close to you at the very least. And number one. You know, early detection obviously is the key. Trust in science. You know, I am from the Caribbean. I was born in Haiti. My, my parents you know, are, you know, very cultured in, in, in a Haitian mindset. But they trust the science because they’ve been modernizing thinking, okay, it’s not about just praying and put, you know, putting a few herbs together.
[00:19:05] It doesn’t work that way. Right. So for me it’s about it’s kind of like we have to educate people to let them know that the science behind this, and just because you hear the C word cancer does not mean you’re going to die. So a lot of people have an ignorant way of thinking, is cancer just kill me now?
[00:19:23] You know, it’s like, no, you’re gonna fight this and let’s get up the boots on the ground. So, you know, all those things matter. And I think representation obviously matters a lot. I think about. When I got radiation, I honestly Googled radiation, black skin radiation, brown skin radiation, Latino skin, any skin that’s not pink and white, because they were telling me, you’re gonna get pink.
[00:19:43] And I’m like, I don’t get pink. You slap me in my face, I’m not gonna get pink. Right. So I was just trying to figure out what is it going to look like and the pictures that I saw. There were more like keloid disaster photos, and it was like just a demarcation coloring issue. So I never really got the real answer on how it’s going to look until it happened to me.
[00:20:03] And then I’m like wow. Like we need to have better you know, representation of something, you know, in these pamphlets show the radiance from light to dark so that people can kind of get a sense of it. So I think we need to be, you know, more mindful of that, you know, so, yes. But yeah.
[00:20:19] Adam Walker: Yeah. So I know you’ve tagged Susan G Komen on your platforms.
[00:20:24] Like what inspires you about the breast cancer community and about organizations like Komen?
[00:20:30] Guerdy Abraira: I mean, gosh it’s exhausting just to watch the work that you guys do. Like, in my mind, I’m like, I want to do a nonprofit. And then I watch, you know, Susan, I’m like, how, like the. The heavy, like the pressure perfor to perform.
[00:20:43] It’s like, it’s intense and I just love and admire the consistency of it all, the messaging of it, all the funding, the fundraiser. I used to do fundraising back in the day, and honey I just, I’m so wowed by the. The grit behind it, the messaging behind it, and it starts small. It’s a story Susan, you know, Susan G.
[00:21:05] Komen, and she, you know, obviously this is her legacy. And then you can continue to build on that and every woman in the world, some way somehow can relate to this cause. So to me it’s kind of like remarkable. And it’s it’s empowering to see a community that’s grown from a seed. Into what it is now.
[00:21:24] So I, it’s a, it’s an honor to be a part of it in any way, shape or form. I mean, I keep calling him, I’m like, I’m gonna get involved to give me a job. Like, give me something. I love it. Yeah.
[00:21:33] Adam Walker: Yeah. I agree. It is an honor to be involved. Yeah. I love that mental, it’s beautiful. Absolutely. So let’s imagine right now that there’s someone listening that has just received a breast cancer diagnosis.
[00:21:46] What words of encouragement would you want to share with them?
[00:21:50] Guerdy Abraira: Okay. Huh. It may seem like there is no light at the end of this tunnel right now. There is no light in your world at this moment, but I promise you if you put one step in front of the other and do nothing else but worry about yourself and your journey, one step in front of the other, and I promise you there will be a light at the end of the tunnel, and once you pass through that light, you will know that
[00:22:21] you will be okay too, the same way that I thought I wasn’t gonna make it. You will be okay and you will survive this if you listen to everything that you are told by the people who know what they’re talking about. Not Grandma Joe, not Nope, not Grandma Joe, not Grandma Jean, but the doctors and what they tell you to do.
[00:22:40] So you follow the steps, you go through the motion and just be selfish and I promise you, you will come out on top. That’s all I got.
[00:22:51] Adam Walker: That’s that’s good. That’s good advice. That’s good advice and, and Guerdy. I did want to circle back around one last time about your book. Where can people, what’s the timeline?
[00:22:58] Yes. Where can people find that again?
[00:23:00] Guerdy Abraira: Okay. From trauma to trophies and trophies is not about the things, it’s about how you feel at the end of the journey and whatever journey this is. This book is not about cancer only. This is my journey. From beginning to end. And because I think that trauma also and stress has something to do with cancer you know, cancer, right?
[00:23:20] So like, you know, just like risk of drinking too much has you know, to do with cancer stress and all these traumas. So it’s about facing all these traumas and me putting it out there and sharing with you what I’ve gone through, who I am, how the hell I got to this country and how I got on TV and everything in between.
[00:23:36] And so there is two parts to my book, it’s Pre-Cancer, and then there’s Post, no, the Cancer Journey, and then my final epilogue. And just like me sharing what I’ve learned and so forth. And it is deep and it is detailed and it is Guerdify Baby from Trauma to Trophies. My memoir, it’s out go Shopify page at Shopify.
[00:23:56] That’s G-U-E-R-D-Y-F y.com or my website, guerdyfy.com. Go to my Instagram at Guerdy Design. And Yes darling, that’s what it’s all about.
[00:24:07] Adam Walker: I think if your book has your personality, it will be amazing. So I think if you’ve got a winner, for sure, I’m gonna go check it out. Thank you. Really appreciate you joining us on the show today, Guerdy.
[00:24:19] Guerdy Abraira: I appreciate you. Thank you so much, Adam.
[00:24:27] Adam Walker: Thanks for listening to Real Pink, a weekly podcast by Susan G Komen. For more episodes, visit Real Pink.Komen.org. And for more on breast cancer, visit Komen.org. Make sure to check out at Susan G Komen on social media. I’m your host, Adam. You can find me on Twitter at AJ Walker or on my blog adam j walker.com.