[00:00:00] Adam Walker: From Susan G. Komen, this is Real Pink, a podcast exploring real stories, struggles, and triumphs related to breast cancer. We’re taking the conversation from the doctor’s office to your living room
[00:00:17] Today on National Cancer Survivors Day, we’re joined by a remarkable performer whose strength, vulnerability, and resilience have inspired millions around the world. She’s taken the stage as a backup vocalist for numerous top artists, and most recently dazzled the crowds on the biggest tour in music history with global superstar Taylor Swift.
[00:00:39] However, audiences were moved even more deeply when she chose to publicly share something far more personal, her breast cancer journey. After Jeslyn Gorman’s diagnosis became known through the Eras Tour docuseries, fans witnessed the emotional reality of navigating cancer while stepping away from a career and community she loves so deeply.
[00:01:00] From continuing the tour in the early days of diagnosis to facing treatment side effects and returning to stage immediately following the treatment, her story is one of courage, grace, and resilience. Today, Jeslyn opens up about the support she received, what survivorship looks like now, and most importantly, shares an empowering message for young women about listening to their bodies, advocating for their health, and never underestimating the importance of early detection.
[00:01:28] Jeslyn, we’re honored to have you here and to have you share your story. Welcome to the show.
[00:01:34] Jeslyn Gorman: Thank you so much for having me.
[00:01:36] Adam Walker: All right, so, so today is National Cancer Survivors Day, and I also understand that it’s a special day for you as well in your breast cancer journey. So, so let’s start there.
[00:01:48] Tell us about that.
[00:01:49] Jeslyn Gorman: Yeah, so three years ago today June 7th, 2023, I was diagnosed with stage two hormone receptor positive breast cancer. And yeah, it was in the middle of a really incredible time in my life while I was touring, and I was in between US cities. I was at home at the time, thank God.
[00:02:14] But yeah, when I received the call, it was pretty scary and devastating and uncertain. All I heard was the word cancer.
[00:02:24] Adam Walker: Yeah. And how did you feel when you heard that word? What was the first feeling?
[00:02:33] Jeslyn Gorman: It was shocking first because breast cancer does not run in my family.
[00:02:40] But now learning a little bit more since I’m in this world now, majority of women who get breast cancer, it does not run in their family.
[00:02:49] So, which is pretty crazy. It was shocking, one, and two it was s- scary and devastating, like I mentioned, because there was so much uncertainty.
[00:03:03] I didn’t know what kind of treatment I would have to do, if I would have to stop working, stop traveling, if I would even be able to go back on, on tour and be able to do the same type of very demanding physically type of work. And I mean, if I would even survive it. I didn’t know what stage it was, and the only thing I knew of cancer was a friend of mine from high school, she had a very rare cancer, and I saw her just, what she had to go through, and she’s not with us today.
[00:03:43] But- That’s the first thing that goes through your mind is, “Oh my gosh, am I going to have to do that? Am I going to be so frail and fragile and not be able to do much and just lay around and not be able to go do things that I love to do?” so- but I tried my best not to spiral through that because every…
[00:04:07] Hers was so rare. Breast cancer, unfortunately, is not so rare, and there’s a lot of treatment. There’s a lot of studies and research and doctors and specialists. So I knew that I had a little bit more in my corner to help support me and get answers and not just have two doctors in the world that can help, so yeah, I think I was just kind of scared of the unknown and the uncertainty of it all, and I didn’t know for over a week. I went back- to work with that information the next day and shared with my family and friends and still didn’t know anything. Still showed up and tried my best because my appointment wasn’t until the next week.
[00:04:57] Adam Walker: Oh, that’s brutal.
[00:04:58] Jeslyn Gorman: Yeah. That’s just so, so difficult. Wow.
[00:05:02] Yeah. It was definitely- How- … a lot to handle just to hang up the phone call and just start packing, Well, well, I mean but not only that but you perform.
[00:05:13] Yeah.
[00:05:14] Adam Walker: It’s, I mean, it… So how I, and maybe I’m getting ahead of myself, but how did that week you don’t know and, but you’re performing, you’re smiling, you’re like- Yeah
[00:05:23] how did you do that?
[00:05:24] Jeslyn Gorman: I mean, I- I just allowed myself to, to set it, to leave it in the dressing room. Okay. And show up on stage and allow myself to be present and give myself permission to experience the joy that my work brings. And because there’s nothing I could do in that moment to help myself or to get clarity or answers.
[00:05:52] Right. So what’s the best that I can do? Be where my feet are. Just exist there, and this thing is so wonderful that this can be my medicine for right now. I can just- welcome this in and both fear and joy can exist at the same time, and that’s what I learned throughout my process too, my journey.
[00:06:14] Is like you can have both simultaneously. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing. And so it was really scary, and some moments were really hard and I was kind of singing through tears and just trying my best- to kind of be present and let nobody see what’s going on. But honestly, it j- I just decided I’m here. All of these people are here to experience joy, and so why not also experience that?
[00:06:44] I don’t have to just – spiral into this news, yeah. I don’t know anything right now. I’m just going to go on what I have in this moment here.
[00:06:55] Adam Walker: I love the phrase you said, “I have to just be where my feet are.” that- Be where your feet are … I don’t think I’ve ever heard somebody say that, but that- No?
[00:07:01] That’s so eloquent. And, and- it’s a- It-
[00:07:04] Jeslyn Gorman: It’s a thing that I live by, it’s so good. When your mind gets so far ahead in things, or-
[00:07:09] Adam Walker: Yeah ..
[00:07:09] Jeslyn Gorman: Spiraling into stuff, because we do that, if you don’t know all the informati- you don’t know all the facts just go based on what you have in front of you, and be where your feet are.
[00:07:21] You don’t know what’s there. You don’t know what’s five years from now. None of us do. No. And if we spiral- Yeah … into the what ifs so much, it’s we’re not going to live a freeing, fulfilling life, and what are we here to do? Be stressed all the time? No, yeah.
[00:07:37] So be where your feet are.
[00:07:38] Adam Walker: Man, it’s beau- that’s beautiful. That’s beautiful. So Justin, millions of people learned about your breast cancer diagnosis while watching The Eras Tour docuseries back in December. And I, not I’ll confess, I just watched it this week and it was fantastic. That must have been a quite a day for you.
[00:07:56] I mean, did you always know that you wanted to share your story publicly and that publicly?
[00:08:03] Jeslyn Gorman: I assumed at some point Everyone would find out somehow I’m really grateful that I was able to keep it a secret until I was ready to share it. Yeah. It’s really easy for things to get out, and I tried to be mindful of not posting and I didn’t post about my birthday that year, like anything, just because it was happening around literally the exact same time that the tour was still happening.
[00:08:29] And I just didn’t want to create more questions than- than were already happening, so.
[00:08:35] Adam Walker: Right.
[00:08:36] Jeslyn Gorman: But I did know that I wanted to share it. Early on in, in my diagnosis, I as many of us who have been diagnosed with an illness, we say, “Why me?” and soon after that I had this just settling, peaceful feeling that God was just…
[00:08:56] God was telling me that it was… this journey was more than just about me.
[00:09:01] And so many things would happen that was just like, huh? M- more, more than it would be a coincidence, and so I just kind of kept my eyes open and my hands surrendered to show me what it is that you want me to e- express in this time or share with people or whatever it is.
[00:09:27] And so I felt throughout chemo into surgery, into radiation, that there were so many days that felt so purposeful and with meaning. Even when I was going through it and not the whole world knew about it. Right. So many of my friends and family around me benefited from things that I would share that I was going through.
[00:09:47] So it just made me feel that we’re not here to do life alone, so- and a testimony is so powerful because we all experience so many similar things, even if it’s not cancer related or going through grief of a friend of mine lost their baby before it was born. So they were going through grief, and I was expressing different thing- not to say that they’re the same thing, but we were both experiencing some sort of trial and grief in a way of how our lives have changed and to go through things that are really hard is difficult to explain to people who don’t understand difficult times.
[00:10:37] So in those experiences of me sharing with different friends or family or whatever, it just continued to make me feel like I needed to share this on a bigger level, whether that be just my Instagram or whatever. And it just so happened at some point we were, they decided to film behind the scenes- and talk about the band and everything like that. So I agreed to share that part of my story. And yeah, I, it’s interesting that it was almost a year and a half later than my diagnosis that the news came out. Wow. And so a lot of people thought I was still in treatment, so I had to- Right. Yeah
[00:11:22] clear that up. I’m good now, guys.” but I got just so many messages, and honestly, it was very overwhelming at first, because I wanted to respond to as many as I could, and I did. Yeah. In time some of them got response like a month later, but still, I wanted to respond to the ones especially who had been newly diagnosed- because I remember how scary it was for me- Yeah … to get that information and not know anything. M- th- fortunately, nobody in my family at that time had gone through cancer treatment or anything, so I didn’t… I knew nothing. So- yeah … I was kind… I’m now a kind of a specialist in my own journey, journey.
[00:12:08] Every breast cancer is kind of a little bit different depending on the receptor that it latches- Yeah … onto, and different treatment, and surgeries, and things like that. So I’m not sharing do this or do that, but I definitely want to give support and encouragement and hope in any way that I can because mindset was everything also- through my journey. And if- Yeah … you can have a good, strong support system and mindset starting, then-
[00:12:41] You can get through it a little bit better because, yeah it’s not for the faint of heart. No. No, it’s not. But yeah it was such a beautiful response, and so much love and support from people I knew and people that I didn’t know, and I just- I’m grateful to be in a space where I can help people through something, especially if they don’t have a support system, so.
[00:13:11] Adam Walker: That’s beautiful. I love it. I lo- and I love that you’re sharing your story. I mean you’re using you’re using the platform that you have to help improve people’s lives, right?
[00:13:22] And that’s so critically important. So, so with that in mind, right what is your breast health message to the young women out there that have been following your story? What do you want them to know about their health?
[00:13:36] Jeslyn Gorman: I think it’s a tricky situation because I don’t believe that everyone who gets cancer caused their cancer.
[00:13:46] But I do believe that taking really good care of yourself in a healthy lifestyle way can help prevent some coming in, but it’s difficult. I would say Pay attention to how your body feels. If things seem off or different or concerning, don’t wait and advocate for yourself, even if a doctor says, “Oh no, you’re probably fine.
[00:14:17] You’re too young.” More and more women, younger women are getting breast cancer these days. It’s just rising and don’t know why. I’m thinking lifestyle, but who knows? There’s so much plastic in this world, and there’s… We’re ingesting this and that, and I don’t know. It could be the cause or it could not.
[00:14:39] Who knows? But being aware of things like toxins and and just trying your best to be as healthy as possible mentally and physically because m- mental health is just as important. If your mind is overwhelmed and stressed, and you’re just high cortisol constantly, your body is responding to that, thinking, “Do I need to be in fight or flight?”
[00:15:07] And that can also cause illness. So I would say even at the young age… Like, when I was young, I thought, “Oh, there’s no way that I would get that. It doesn’t run in my family. I’m the healthiest in my family. Everyone else is much heavier and not as health-conscious with their eating and their lifestyle.”
[00:15:29] I’m like, “And I got it?” it was so huh. No matter how much you do, sometimes you just get it. So I would say try your best to Stay on top of your routine appointments and pay attention to what your body is saying and just try to be as, as mentally and physically healthy as possible.
[00:16:00] And just advocate for yourself. Speak up, and don’t be afraid to say, “No, I actually want that test.”
[00:16:08] Adam Walker: Yeah. That’s right. So important. I mean, so many guests on this show talk about the importance of advocating for yourself. Yeah. And I think, it- ju- we can’t stress it enough, right? I mean if you know that you…
[00:16:20] If you know something’s off, or if advocate for yourself, because you’re the only one that can, right?
[00:16:25] Jeslyn Gorman: Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. You’re the only one that feels the difference that, you know, if a lump pops up, and oh, that’s just dense tissue. Well, that’s never been there, so can we please- Yeah
[00:16:36] Unfortunately, younger women don’t, can’t just get a mammogram randomly. Yeah. It has- Yeah … to be something of concern or I don’t know if it’s changed, but I’m pretty sure it’s just 40, after 40- Yeah … it, you get routine, and it’s covered by insurance. And I think maybe you can do a baseline prior, a- baseline scan prior to that. But I think it’s scarier for younger women, because there’s no routine just like- Yeah … going in- Yeah … doing a screening. I fortunately- Yeah … unfortunately had breast cancer to have this, but I fortunately get an MRI and a mammogram every year now.
[00:17:17] Adam Walker: Yeah.
[00:17:18] Jeslyn Gorman: Alternating every six months.
[00:17:19] Yeah. So I’m able to stay on top of it and make sure I don’t have a reoccurrence, but what about- my friend who’s my age who can’t?
[00:17:26] Adam Walker: Yeah.
[00:17:27] Jeslyn Gorman: Yeah. That’s right. So that’s unfortunate.
[00:17:29] Adam Walker: Well and I think for those people it’s important and again, I’m just recalling previous guests, but to know your normal, right?
[00:17:35] Know- Right … what’s normal for you, and if something’s not normal, advocate for yourself relentlessly, right?
[00:17:41] Jeslyn Gorman: 100%. Yeah. Yeah, and if one doctor won’t do it, switch to another. Yeah. You can change, and don’t be worried about making a doctor feel bad. Oh- … well I don’t want them to think that I don’t like them, and I’m going to change to another doctor.
[00:17:57] No, change to another doctor. Yeah.
[00:17:59] Adam Walker: That’s right. That’s right.
[00:18:00] Jeslyn Gorman: Yeah. They’re there to care for you, and if they’re not caring for you in the way that’s best for you, switch to someone else.
[00:18:06] Adam Walker: That’s right. That’s right.
[00:18:07] Jeslyn Gorman: Yeah.
[00:18:07] Adam Walker: That’s right. Well, so, so speaking of caring for you, it was special to see the support that you got from the tour family on the road.
[00:18:15] And I’d love to hear a little bit about what it meant to you a- and what your support team looked like at home when you couldn’t be on tour. And it was because it was a double whammy. Now, not only did you have to give up something that you love, but you’re also dealing with the, with an extra obstacle at the same time, right?
[00:18:32] So talk a little bit about that and th- that support.
[00:18:35] Jeslyn Gorman: Yeah. Well, initially, when I shared with my tour family. They were just the most supportive. Everyone was so lovely and heartbroken that they didn’t know it was going to happen either, that I’d have to miss out. And while I was at home getting treatment, many of them reached out and supported me in that way, and just checked on me constantly, and kept me updated on what was happening and things.
[00:19:03] But yeah I just, I felt so blessed to be with such a group of people that weren’t just my coworkers. They were my family, my support system in, in that way. And we’re the only ones that understand what that life is like in that space, and so we’re even closer and more bonded in that way, that they’re the only ones that understand what it feels like to have to step away from something like that or can at least imagine. But my s- I had just so many s- so many beautiful communities of support- outside of work also. Like my family, most of them live in Florida, and my parents drove cross-country to come visit me in California for one of my infusions, because my mom she gets panic attacks flying.
[00:19:59] So they just-
[00:19:59] Adam Walker: That is a long drive.
[00:20:00] Jeslyn Gorman: It’s a long drive. They went straight- Wow … straight here, and they were so exhausted. Poor- I just felt so bad. I was like, “Dinner’s ready. Come up.” Yeah, it was so wonderful to have them, and some friends flew in for my birthday in November, which was like the weekend before my next infusion.
[00:20:20] So- I celebrated, and then some stayed to help me. One of my best friends that’s on tour with us, she… When we weren’t, when I had an infusion and there was no show, she would stay with me because- after my first infusion I fainted and I got a concussion. Yeah. Hit my head on my marble table, and I got a cut on my fa- it was so bad.
[00:20:44] It was my first one, too, and so every infusion I felt- Wow … really anxious that it would happen again. And-
[00:20:50] Adam Walker: Yeah …
[00:20:50] Jeslyn Gorman: Chemo just really dehydrates you and no matter how much water you drink, I was, like my blood pressure was so low. But she promised me that she would stay with me every chemo infusion week just to make sure I was okay.
[00:21:03] So that, that meant so much more than she’ll ever know And yeah, I had just that community, my church community prayed for me and I was leading worship every once in a while if I felt well to do so. And they just poured so much love and support on me and just checked on me all the time and sent me meals and cooked for me, showed up for me.
[00:21:30] Even people that I didn’t expect to show up or people that I wasn’t really close with, they would come and bring me soup and just show up in a way that I had no, no expectation or or knowing that would happen. So I just felt so loved and I know that it’s not lost on me that’s not common.
[00:21:54] I think a lot of people who go through an illness like this, it’s just their immediate family and maybe some best friends, and I feel so extremely blessed that I had many communities of people that just showed up for me in so many ways that I’m, I- there’s not enough thank yous to say, really.
[00:22:14] Adam Walker: Yeah. That’s beautiful. That’s beautiful.
[00:22:16] Jeslyn Gorman: Yeah.
[00:22:17] Adam Walker: All right, so, so take us back to the early days when you’re first diagnosed. I think you said you’re diagnosed and you flew out a day or two later to continue with the tour. And we talked we talked a little bit about, but I want to dive in a little deeper.
[00:22:33] I mean, how were you able to compartmentalize that, and is that a life skill that you’ve learned from years of living on tour? Have you s- had some strong female mentorship? Just tell me more about that experience.
[00:22:44] Jeslyn Gorman: Yeah. I would say that it’s something that I learned growing up in my family.
[00:22:52] My mom she grew up pretty poor and had to drop out of school and take care of her family and her mom and everything, and she just kind of did what she had to do to survive and to make it. So she kind of instilled that in us. If we were complaining about being uncomfortable or something, she would just kind of be like Not everybody has air conditioning.
[00:23:17] Not everybody-” like-
[00:23:18] Adam Walker: Yep .
[00:23:18] Jeslyn Gorman: This is what you have and this is this is the clothes that you have and we’re going to you just kind of make it work. And so I had this understanding and this part of me that says, “Just do what you have to do- to get through it.” Yeah. And she m- may not have known what she was instilling in me, but it was bravery and resilience and just strength.
[00:23:49] You actually are capable of this. You never had to, but you are able to. And I n- I think it was a combination of my mom’s example and my own determination that king of got me through that. But as far as compartmentalizing, I just kind of allowed myself to- I just gave myself permission to feel joy.
[00:24:14] Yeah. And I- Yeah … literally, I didn’t want to step on stage as cancer me. I just wanted it to be me. And so I left- cancer in the dressing room, and I stepped on stage as me, because I don’t know how many of these shows I’ll be able to do. I don’t know if I’ll be able to come back. So this might be my last show.
[00:24:34] My LA show where we filmed, I was like, “This might be my last one. I have no idea, but I’m going to be present, and I’m going to allow myself any emotion that comes, but I’m just going to be present and give myself that.” That was my self-love in that moment. You can receive this joy. You don’t have to wallow in this- diagnosis because you haven’t started. Yes, you had to freeze your eggs while doing all this, but you can be here and exist in this joy before you go into the unknown.
[00:25:08] Adam Walker: Ah, that’s beautiful.
[00:25:10] Jeslyn Gorman: Yeah.
[00:25:10] Adam Walker: That’s really beautiful. I really appreciate you sharing that. So I want to revisit another thing you said too.
[00:25:17] You were talking about how you were in peak physical condition and I’ve s- I saw the show, and you were in peak… I mean I- so physically demanding, what you do is really genuinely impressive. And so, so talk about how you navigated going through sickness and the side effects of treatment having gone from peak physical condition to essentially not.
[00:25:42] Jeslyn Gorman: Yeah. It was very difficult.
[00:25:46] Yeah. Chemo really does something to your body. The chemo side effects are cumulative. They, over time, you add some more. And so by the last one, you’re like, “Oh, here they all are.” So I would say I lost quite a bit of muscle, and every time I used my muscles, like even just to stand up, my muscles burned like they were on fire.
[00:26:12] Literally you burned hot, you poured hot sauce on them. That’s what they felt like just standing up. So you can imagine going up a couple steps y- or hiking. So, a- every infusion was, it was one every three weeks for six, six infusions. And the first week was obviously just Nope, you’re just going to exist and try your best to get through them.”
[00:26:41] And In my mind, it was just make it to Friday because Friday in the first infusion was when I fainted. So it was like, “Just make it to Friday. Let’s just make it to Friday and get there.” And at the weekend was when I started to feel a little better. So on the two weeks in between, I would go on hikes, I would jog, I would get my body moving, and I even have video of me just literally jogging af- a week after my infusion, just Come on, you want to get back up back in shape.”
[00:27:14] So I, I just tried my best to stay moving, and my doctors even recommended movement helps reduce the side effects. And so I tried my best to move. After the last infusion, it was very difficult. I had extreme edema in my legs, so my legs were just swollen. They felt tight. And I was making fun…
[00:27:40] I sent a video to my friend Look, I have grandma legs now.” But they were just so swollen, and even if I put my fingers on them- Yeah … they were just like jelly.
[00:27:51] Adam Walker: Yeah.
[00:27:51] Jeslyn Gorman: So the edema was really bad, and so I had to king of put my legs up all the time. And I had rashes on my face, and I lost all my lashes and, my eyebrows and my… I had no idea that watery eyes was a side effect. And so- I constantly had water in my eyes, like teary eyes- to where driving was difficult. But anyway, back to physical health. I would say I, after I was cleared from after having surgery, and I was cleared to do movement to work out, I started with gentle stretching, which already was just very difficult.
[00:28:36] And then I went into a yoga class that was, like, more stretch yoga, and then eventually went into more movement. But I just remember crying through those classes because I was in so much pain, and just frustration that my body wasn’t able to do things that I could before. Moving from one stretch to another from being, like, on my back to then turning over to my stomach, it took me so long to get there compared to the rest of the class that it was just very difficult.
[00:29:10] And I remember after just three of those classes, I started to notice a difference. And then I started to do a little bit more intensive a yoga class. “Okay, now maybe I can do a little bit more.” Eventually, I got to a place where I could do a little bit more agility and HIIT workouts at home, and then I started going into different workout classes, and I was doing jump squats and lunges and lifting weights and doing all the things.
[00:29:39] And so it, it took a very long time, but I promised myself to show up every day and give myself some sort of movement. And some days was just a walk, and some days was like, “I’m going and doing some HIIT.” So it, yeah, it was a long journey, and it was very difficult, but I just pushed through because I had something look, to look forward to.
[00:30:02] I wanted to get back to my joy as m- as fast as I could. And by the end of my radiation treatment, my doctor said, she’s I said, ” how long after can I go back?” She’s Whenever you feel good.” right after. I was like- … “Okay, I’ll do it then.” So- Yeah, and- … I felt strong enough. I was definitely very scared once I flew and went and did the first one.
[00:30:28] I was like-
[00:30:29] Am I going to fall on my face?” being in heels and… I mean, at home I would practice at home to watching the show- Yeah … and just in heels, so I could see if I could run up and down the stairs to do a quick change. So it was-
[00:30:45] Adam Walker: Right. Yeah …
[00:30:45] Jeslyn Gorman: It was definitely scary, and I was like, “No, I’ve- I’ve practiced.
[00:30:50] I’m- I’ve been in strength classes. I’m… I remember. I… And I also have all these people on stage that have my back in case I need- help.” So I was… And afterward, I was very proud of myself. I finished and I was like-
[00:31:07] Adam Walker: As you should be … I
[00:31:07]
[00:31:07] Jeslyn Gorman: was like, “I did it”- Yes, as you- “I didn’t fall on my face.”
[00:31:09] Adam Walker: As you… Yeah.
[00:31:10] Jeslyn Gorman: And my- Wow … ponytail didn’t fall out of what was left of my hair, like- it was just this tiny little- Yeah … hair tie that I was like, “Please, I hope this thing stays on.” So everything worked out, and I was just so happy that it did.
[00:31:23] Adam Walker: The sheer mental toughness to do what you just des- I’m literally in awe of what you just described.
[00:31:31] Oh, my… I… This the… I don’t know that I’ve- I would… I’ve never experienced anything like that, and I’m so f- I’m impressed and in awe of what you’ve accomplished. So thank you for sharing that. And you mentioned something else that I’d like to, I’d like to explore just a minute, too.
[00:31:49] So there was there was a you kind of inspiringly returned very quickly after finishing your treatment. And then one of the things that you talked about that I think resonates with a lot of survivors is that losing your signature curly hair.
[00:32:05] Jeslyn Gorman: Yeah.
[00:32:06] Adam Walker: Can you talk a little bit about that experience and sort of what that was like for you?
[00:32:11] Jeslyn Gorman: Yeah. Even just thinking about it now, I feel emotional because it’s- It’s such a, I don’t know, it’s just your hair, right? But like-
[00:32:24] Adam Walker: But it’s more.
[00:32:24] Jeslyn Gorman: It is … it’s more. Yeah And one, being a woman, but I feel like men also deal with this too. But like especially being in this, in, on stage with lights and all that, a- Yeah
[00:32:37] part of my job is to look presentable and look the part. And so for so long, since I started singing and dancing, since I was literally in elementary school, I thought about my appearance. And- maybe a little bit too much, which I’m working on. Don’t worry so much about what people think of you.
[00:32:54] But I, I kind of tied my hair and my appearance to my identity- and a little bit to what makes me pretty. And so I’m like, “Well, if I lose my hair, what am I?” Like- It became that because of how much my appearance meant work, love-
[00:33:18] Attention when it comes to, “Wow, you look so beautiful.
[00:33:22] Your hair is n-” I was getting-
[00:33:24] Adam Walker: Yeah …
[00:33:24] Jeslyn Gorman: I get so many compliments on my hair that-
[00:33:26] Adam Walker: Yeah .
[00:33:27] Jeslyn Gorman: For so long. I’m like, “Well, if I don’t have it, am I still pretty? Am I still…” well, I’m single, so I’m like, “Will I ever be with anybody until it comes back?” it was just this like- Yeah
[00:33:39] okay, this kind of mourning the the confidence that you have when you put, when you get ready and you’re like, “Okay, I like how I look. I’m going to go out into the world.” Yeah. And I just decided- Yeah … I just felt like I was hiding all the time. I was- hiding my hair in a hat. I was hiding… I, because I did cold capping, you can’t put many products in your hair, and so it was just like- Right
[00:34:03] fluffy and just existed as it was. And as it was, I was shedding and losing it, I like, it didn’t really matter if I put product in. It was just like a thin- Yeah … a thin little thing. Yeah. So I would say it was very difficult when I started losing my hair. Thankfully, I kept about- About 20, 25% of it Okay.
[00:34:28] Okay And the bald spots were kind of underneath things, so if I split it down the middle, I was able to kind of look somewhat normal to a stranger. And so I didn’t look sick or like a cancer patient when I was just walking around. Obviously my friends and family knew what it normally looks like, but I was able to- Right
[00:34:47] have a little bit of normalcy, and I think that’s what is the gift of-
[00:34:53] Saving a little bit of your hair or whatever it is. Having that little bit of normalcy to where you’re not completely changing. Yeah. There’s so many changes that come with this that can I just have a couple things that make me feel like me?
[00:35:10] Right. Yeah. So I think I, even though I lost quite a bit I’m still very grateful and fortunate that I was able to keep some of it, and be able to hold onto a hairpiece to-
[00:35:22] Adam Walker: Yeah. Yeah …
[00:35:23] Jeslyn Gorman: look a little bit like myself on stage. Yeah. I couldn’t really have the full hair, but it was a ponytail for the rest on, and nobody questioned it.
[00:35:31] Adam Walker: Yeah.
[00:35:31] Jeslyn Gorman: Not that they should, but I was trying- Yeah … so hard to just look like nothing happened that I was like- Yeah … “Hopefully this is fine.” So back to how I felt when my diagnosis was shared, I felt finally relief that I didn’t have to hide anymore. And my family and my close friends all knew, but there was still a level of hiding it and having this secret from the world, and the fans that were asking, like, where I was.
[00:36:03] And so it just felt relieving that I didn’t have to hide it anymore, and that it could now help someone. The reason that I found mine is because my friend posted about her diagnosis, and to check yourself, and I was like, “Well, maybe I should check myself. I’ve never done a self exam.” So then I did, and I was like, “Well, what’s that?”
[00:36:25] So her post saved my life- And so I had this pressure on me, not pressure, but this this this knowing that I wanted to do that and be the one that can possibly share my story to get someone to check themselves to possibly save their life, and so that, that was also on me. When finally it was released, I was like, “Okay, I hope this helps someone,” I hope this makes people, makes someone feel less alone in it and and see that, that they’re capable of doing hard things just as I did.
[00:37:06] Adam Walker: That’s right. That’s right. And I should mention, for those that are listening to this audio but not video, your- you got your curl back. I do. Your hair has got the, it’s got the curl, so it looks great.
[00:37:15] Jeslyn Gorman: I got a little bob now.
[00:37:17] Adam Walker: It looks great. It looks great. Well, so I mean, so speaking of sort of now, I mean, how are you feeling and what have you learned as kind of you’ve progressed through survivorship?
[00:37:29] Jeslyn Gorman: Yeah. I’m doing well now. I’m … I mean the cancer meds that I take, there’s, I take these meds for five years post-
[00:37:40] Treatment.
[00:37:41] And they come with a laundry list of side effects also. But I I’m just grateful to be healthy and cancer-free and to move forth in things that I want to do with my life- Yeah … and not just sit in a chemo chair. Like a friend of mine, she has stage four metastatic breast cancer, and she’s, does chemo every three weeks.
[00:38:06] So I just, I feel I’m, I’m- I’m so fortunate that I don’t have to do that, and I’m- I show up when I can to help people who are still in that that journey. But I’m doing okay, and I think that to give a little bit of insight on it, I… The cancer that I had grew on my estrogen. So I’ve been placed in medically induced menopause to- prevent a reoccurrence. Right. And that plus the hormone blockers and medication that I take, it causes joint pain, and hot flashes and night sweats, and brain fog, and a struggle to maintain and build muscle. And- Estrogen helps to also burn body fat. And so it’s this now new normal. I’ve gone down a rabbit hole of research of what happens to women’s body when they, when estrogen decreases.
[00:39:10] And- yeah … there’s this specialist named Dr. Stacy Sims that I’ve really appreciate her knowledge that she shares with our community, but it’s taught me how to better take care of myself in this new normal, and to train differently. The way that I trained before, working out, did not work. All throughout the rest of the tour, I was gaining weight, even though I was moving a ton, but I…
[00:39:41] It- it’s not cardio that I need, it’s strength, like really heavy lifting in order to build muscle without estrogen. So I’ve now… It took me a minute to get into this plan and to see the effects of it or the results of it, but I’m now in a place where I’m starting to get… To understand how to take care of myself now.
[00:40:05] And a part of that is staying on top of my mental health as well. Our… Even though you’re cancer-free, you’re never truly done with this. You’re still, your mind is still on it. You’re taking these meds every day. You have scans every six months. You’re, like, you’re dealing with the side effects to all the meds, so you’re still reminded of yourself that you’re not the same as before.
[00:40:32] And for so long, women or anybody who goes through this, they think, “Well, when will I be back to normal? When will I get back to how it used to be?” Well, unfortunately, you’re never going to go back to how it used to be because you’re forever changed, one, and now your body is different because of the medication and what chemo did and you know- All these different things that pop up now since is it’s like you have to digest that and have a bit of awareness and acceptance that this is my new normal, and that’s okay.
[00:41:07] How do I embrace? How do I move forward? How do I take care of myself with all these new things? And so I prioritize mindfulness and stillness and moments to just sit with God and- and allow myself to, to work on the things that make me feel stressed. Why is that there?” Or, “Maybe I’m bringing that in from childhood, and I don’t necessarily need that.
[00:41:32] That doesn’t serve me.” really- Right … monitoring my mental health and my nervous system because our bodies respond to what our minds are doing- our minds are thinking. And although we can’t control what thought comes up, we can decide what to do with it then. Yeah. And so- yeah
[00:41:49] I’ve been really prioritizing that type of health taking care of my health in that way as well. Yeah, that’s so important.
[00:41:56] Yeah.
[00:41:57] Adam Walker: So important. Well, Jeslyn, you are an inspiration in- … so many ways. And I just, I can’t thank you enough for coming on the show and sharing your story.
[00:42:08] As we wrap up, what lessons do you hope your fans take from seeing your resiliency and what you were able to overcome?
[00:42:13] Jeslyn Gorman: I hope that people realize that, that rel- resilience isn’t something
[00:42:19] reserved for a certain kind of person. It all lives in us. And whatever you’re facing, whether it’s illness or loss or uncertainty or something deeply personal, I want it to be a reminder that you’re far more capable than you think you are. One of the most, most powerful things that I learned in my journey was that, as I explained before, that gratitude can go coexist with grief, and hope can coexist with fear, and life is rarely one feeling at a time.
[00:42:55] Even in the darkest seasons, there’s still a small amount of light, and that’s what people hold onto. That’s what I held onto, and that’s what got me to the end. And I hope that people give themselves permission to find those moments even on the hardest days. A 5% shift in your mindset a deep breath, a walk outside, a laugh, a moment of peace, it all matters.
[00:43:19] And healing isn’t always dramatic. It… Sometimes it’s quiet and slow and steady, but it’s still progress, and it’s powerful. And if there’s one thing that I want people to take away is that discomfort is not permanent, that no matter how heavy a season feels, it won’t last forever. And on the other side, there’s still joy waiting for you, and not in spite of what you’ve been through, but because you made it through.
[00:43:49] And just to take care of yourself. Listen to your bodies, advocate for yourself and your health. Show up for your appointments. You only get one life in this body, and it deserves the attention, your respect, and your love. And most of all, I hope my story reminds people that even after everything, you can still rise, you can still heal, still laugh again, still love deeply, and still find meaning in the life that you’re living right now, even though it looks a bit different than before.
[00:44:21] Adam Walker: That’s beautiful. Yeah.
[00:44:24] That’s, I mean so much goodness in what you just said. Yay.
[00:44:29] Well, Jeslyn I’m happy to celebrate your overcoming o- on this Cancerversary with you. A- and thank you, genuinely, thank you for sharing your story, and thank you for joining us on the show.
[00:44:40] Jeslyn Gorman: Thank you so much for having me
[00:44:48] Adam Walker: Thanks for listening to Real Pink, a weekly podcast by Susan G. Komen. For more episodes, visit realpink.komen.org, and for more on breast cancer, visit komen.org. Make sure to check out @susangkomen on social media. I’m your host, Adam. You can find me on Twitter @ajwalker or on my blog, adamjwalker.com.