[00:00:00] Adam Walker: From Susan G Komen, this is Real Pink, A podcast exploring real stories, struggles, and triumphs related to breast cancer. We’re taking the conversation from the doctor’s office to your living room.
[00:00:17] This is Real Pink, a podcast conversation where we’re digging deep into breast cancer and the realities patients and survivors face every day. We’re talking openly and honestly about just how difficult breast cancer can be from being diagnosed to selecting the right treatment plan, to living day-to-day with metastatic breast cancer and life after treatment ends.
[00:00:38] We know the statistics. Breast cancer affects more women under age 50 than over 50, but facing breast cancer as a young woman brings with it a whole set of challenges and decisions that may not impact older women. Trying to date, deciding whether to have children, establishing a career, or just figuring out life and how to navigate it.
[00:00:59] Joining today’s conversation are two ladies who are diagnosed in their thirties. Jenna Tomasiewicz and Linda Gulbransen. Linda was also diagnosed with breast cancer a second time at age 59 when her life looked very different, and she knew what it would take to survive and thrive during treatment. Jenna and Linda, thank you for being on the show today to share your advice, to share your conversation and your lessons from one survivor to another.
[00:01:24] So let’s hear your stories and then talk. Jenna, why don’t we start with you?
[00:01:29] Jenna Tomasiewicz: Sure. Yeah. So I just want to start off by saying that it’s such a pleasure to be here, to be able to share my story and to talk to you, Linda and Adam about my breast cancer journey. So I think my story starts back in May of 2024.
[00:01:45] I was 28 weeks pregnant with my second child and I had a one, almost 2-year-old at home. And I got out of the shower and I felt a lump on my breast and I equated it to being pregnant and hormones maybe a clogged milk duct or something. So I followed up my ob. My OB sent me in for an ultrasound, which led to a stat biopsy.
[00:02:11] Only two days later I got the phone call and they told me that I was diagnosed with stage two ERPR positive, HER2 negative breast cancer with lymph node involvement. And that day I just will never forget because I was with my toddler and my husband in the living room, and it was like 4:36 PM.
[00:02:35] And I was just like in survival mode at that point. Like I didn’t really understand the whole process, even going through like the ultrasound and the biopsy. It was hard for me to even try to comprehend because I’m like, what is going on? Like, I’m just, I’m pregnant, like this can’t be my life right now.
[00:02:53] So. After that it was difficult to try to navigate. Like my initial fear was like, okay, what does this mean for my unborn child? What does this mean for my family dynamics and am I going to lose my hair? So those were like my first three things that I thought about.
[00:03:12] Linda Gulbransen: Yeah, I’m I’m with you, Jenna.
[00:03:16] Yeah, me too. I thank you for having me and being able to share my experience. I was 38 years old when I was diagnosed. And a very similar thing. My mother had been diagnosed with breast cancer a year before, and I just kind of felt a pain in my breast. And I went to my doctor and I said, Hey I know that I just had a mammogram six months ago, but I need to have another one.
[00:03:45] And back then 20 years ago, that was kind of like a, oh my gosh no, your insurance isn’t going to, I said, I don’t care. I have to have it. And sure enough, I was diagnosed, I was at work, and the doctor called me and it was a Friday afternoon and said, yeah, it’s positive and here’s the number to a surgeon.
[00:04:12] You need to go in and you need to get it taken care of. And and it was right before the holidays. It was know, right around, um Thanksgiving time. And I was kinda like the same thing. I had two children 11-year-old and a probably 7-year-old then I had only just recently after being a single mother remarried and we’d only been married five months and I thought, oh my gosh.
[00:04:43] Like really? Is this how we’re going to start this whole new life together? And it, it was all that unknown stuff, now what do we do? And I think as mothers, I think right. I just sort of kicked into survival mode. It was just like, okay, we, I got to get this taken care of because I got kids to take care of.
[00:05:05] I got a family to take care of. I had to work. My husband was still in a retraining program because he had gotten laid off from his job. And so he was basically getting unemployment and I’m like, I have to work. We have to live. And so, yeah, that’s kind of where we were at the same time and went in and fortunately mine was early stage one.
[00:05:34] And so I was able to go in and have lumpectomy done and, and that, but it was going to require, because I was so young for the doctors to say, no, you have to do chemo and you have to do radiation, and that’s going to help keep it away, and so I spent the next year doing that and that was the hard part.
[00:06:02] And I don’t know what kind of treatments you ended up doing. I mean how did that go for you?
[00:06:09] Jenna Tomasiewicz: Yeah. So at the time I was basically newlyweds, like my husband and I were three years married and we were just starting our family. I’m 34 years old. I had just like did a job change to be more, present for my kids. because we wanted to have three kids ultimately. And so like, I felt like I was like on top of the world like that. I was like in my prime. I felt great physically. And so we were in a really good place in, in life. And so when this happened, I, it was hard for me to process. Like everything is I’ve worked in the medical field before and I’m aware of like what happens with cancer patients, but I, it never really comprehended for me.
[00:06:51] So they told me that I, so I went through I went after getting like a second opinion. I went to Memorial Sloan Kettering, so that’s where I did all my treatment. And I had a wonderful oncologist who worked with my OB doctor. Because the issue with me was they didn’t know how far that the cancer had spread because I was pregnant.
[00:07:11] So because it went to my lymph nodes, they weren’t sure if it spread anywhere else in my body. So like cold capping was not an option for me. So I knew that like I had to do chemotherapy was first line and they wanted me to do it while pregnant. And that was the scariest decision because I wasn’t even taking Tylenol and I like ate all organic food.
[00:07:32] Like I was very much conscious about what goes in my body. So to think like I’m going to be pumping poison into my body with my baby, like that was traumatizing for me in and of itself. I also had like a really traumatic birth for my first son and then a miscarriage in between. So this was happening and I’m like, this is, this can’t be my life right now.
[00:07:52] Right. So I agreed to do it because my hormone levels were so high, they said that it was spreading quicker than it usually would if I wasn’t pregnant. So I had to start chemotherapy right away. So I started at 32 weeks pregnant. I. I only underwent two rounds of chemo while pregnant, and then they induced me at 37 weeks.
[00:08:18] So when I had my baby, it was like the most magical moment despite everything that was going on. Like when they put him on me, that was just like, made everything okay, made like cancer go away for that moment. It was just the most beautiful moment I’ve ever had in my life. But after that, I resumed the treatment.
[00:08:37] I had a really rough time with with all of the chemo. And I had an allergic reaction to Taxol. So I was in the hospital for a while, which was life threatening. And then after that I had a double mastectomy and lymph node dissection. So for me, they were going to do radiation, but new research for for young patients proved that
[00:09:04] depending on the amount of lymph node involvement that it would do more harm than good. So with my case, they out of the nine that they took out, only one was affected. So I got very lucky where this new research that just came out says that I don’t need, I don’t need radiation. So I was very relieved.
[00:09:25] Yeah.
[00:09:26] Linda Gulbransen: Yeah.
[00:09:27] Jenna Tomasiewicz: And it just came out like a year ago, so I just cut, met the cutoff, so I was very relieved. So I was able to get like my reconstruction, so all this spanned out to about 11 months.
[00:09:38] Linda Gulbransen: Yeah. So yeah, about a year, a little over a year ago around the same time, it was almost 20 years to the day.
[00:09:46] Same thing. Went in for my routine exam, and then got that dreaded call again that says, Hey, we need you to come back in. We think we see some things, and this time they thought they saw something in both breasts. But after additional ultrasounds and things like that and biopsies, it turned out to be just one in the same breast.
[00:10:09] And ironically, it turned out to be a different type of cancer. It wasn’t the same. But they said just you’re really only option this time is to just do a mastectomy with reconstruction and, I didn’t really have any argument with that choice. I mean, it was just saying like, yeah but I think for me it was like a really big let down.
[00:10:34] I feel like I went, I did everything you told me to do the first time, and here we are again. And so this time around has been really different of course my kids are adults now and things like that and I don’t have that and stuff. I think it’s just that whole like.
[00:10:56] Yeah, just having that big letdown of, what do you mean? I did all of that for nothing. That sort of like that feeling that I had was but I did everything you told me to do the first time and and so yeah, that led to a mastectomy followed by I did deep reconstruction where they.
[00:11:16] They take part of your, your, for me, it was part of my stomach to, to rebuild because I had radiation. I couldn’t get an implant. And so I did that and then just recently had just a kind of a… they sort of do a phase two where they kind of go in and kind of fix things up and stuff. And then, and after that surgery, I said, I’m done.
[00:11:41] I’m done. I’m this, none of this is worth it to me anymore. And it’s like it just is what it is now. And I still live with that fear of I still have one breast, that’s my natural tissue. Now is that one going to do something or have I done enough again and.
[00:12:02] I know after the first time after I finished radiation and everything and all of that, there was just this, I mean, I remember the last day of radiation. I just cried all day because I was just so like, what now? I spent a year being strong. I spent a year fighting. I spent a year doing everything.
[00:12:23] And now what? Now? Now do I just wait? And and that, and so, yeah. And so it sounds like you’re doing well now in that, and so.
[00:12:41] Jenna Tomasiewicz: Trying you trying, but that must have been so scary for you though, like, like that’s like, that’s everybody’s fear, especially when you’re younger, because I guess the likelihood of us getting it, getting a recurrence is higher than somebody older.
[00:12:55] So that is certainly on my ways, on my mind, probably 75 to 80% of the time. Right now being 15 months in remission I think about it very often and I’m very afraid of what goes in my body now, like what I’m around and making sure I exercise and follow like the order. My issue right now that I struggle with is obviously the hormone therapy that’s
[00:13:20] it’s and just like rebuilding your life because you have this plan when you’re young. You want to do things. And then the way that I describe, it’s like a glass that shatters, right? So, and then you have to rebuild that glass and there are some pieces that don’t fit or that you lost, but you still have to make sure that glass can still hold water and you can drink from it.
[00:13:43] And that’s exactly like how I feel right now. Like in remission, I feel like i’m just trying to rebuild myself with those glass pieces in fear that I could drop it again and get a recurrence. You know what I mean?
[00:13:57] Linda Gulbransen: Oh, that’s so great. That’s such a great analogy. I love that.
[00:14:01] Jenna Tomasiewicz: I feel that to my husband.
[00:14:02] because I feel like that was the only way that he could understand. Like, he’s like, well, your hair is growing back and you look great and I always thought that you look beautiful, and I’m like, okay, well this is how I actually feel, but how was that for you? Like. To try to navigate that now in your fifties as opposed to when you were in your thirties.
[00:14:24] Linda Gulbransen: Yeah, and I mean, that’s kind of the thing is I think, you know when I was younger and then, like I said, I just had the lumpectomy. So I still had, how do I say, I still had all my parts so when it was all said and done I mean there was still always that fear of what, if it comes back, what if it, and as the years went on that fear kind of went away and kind of went away.
[00:14:49] And it was less stressful. But every year when I went and had my mammogram, it was always just kind of like that, tentative, oh my gosh, here we go again, kind of a thing. And now after having had all of these surgeries and things like that, and this time around I have a new partner. And he’s so supportive.
[00:15:11] So supportive, and has been, and kind of says the same things you’re beautiful I love you. All of those things. But I look in the mirror and all I see are all the scars and all of the things and things don’t look the same. And and, I have the the pain in my in my joints.
[00:15:35] And that from the the continued medicinal treatment the estrogen blockers and things like that to help, to help prevent anything coming back and stuff like that. And so when you wake up you wake up and you’re exhausted even though you slept all night or those kinds of things.
[00:16:03] And so it’s, it is, like you said, it’s like trying to put yourself back together so that you can feel like you can be part of the world again. Does that make sense? Like, like you used to be, but you can’t be like you used to be, and so it’s sort of trying to be a new me and and being accepting of myself.
[00:16:34] And I think that’s the biggest challenge right now is just learning to accept myself with scars and all and saying it, it’s okay. And how did that differ from like back, from back to your thirties? Is that, is it easier this time around or was it just a different kind of identity that you had to stop?
[00:16:57] Yeah, for me this time it’s much harder. Much harder. And I think part of that has to do with because I had so much more done this time, I think. But I think also I had so much more to focus on in my thirties I had children and I had a different kind of job and my life was just different then.
[00:17:22] And like I said, now. My children are grown, they have their own lives, and it’s just me and my, my partner at home and it’s just us. And so there’s a lot of quiet time and so there’s a lot of time to get in my head and so trying to, trying, I don’t know, trying to balance that.
[00:17:50] So I feel like this time around has been so much harder. So much harder emotionally than it was the first time. I think the first time I was just.. I was like, let’s get this done. I don’t got time to be dealing with this. Let’s just get this taken care of and move on. I mean, it is like I used to just, I think I was just always in that mode.
[00:18:12] I don’t get time for this. Let’s, okay. What I didn’t even pay much attention to what kind of cancer I had. It was like, okay, let, can we just do, we just need to do whatever. I didn’t pay much attention to what kind of chemo they were giving me. It was just like, okay, let’s, I got to do how many, okay, let’s count, do the countdown, and I wasn’t in fighting mode anymore. And that’s what made it hard when it all ended, so to speak, yeah. And did you like lose all your hair and everything?
[00:18:40] Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And and it grew back and and life went on and I know when I started to lose my hair and it was painful it wasn’t, it didn’t just fall out.
[00:18:59] It hurt when it fell out. And I remember like trying to… how do I do this with my kids without freaking them out? And my kids were a little older than probably than yours were, but I remember going in the kitchen with the clippers and having my son come in and say, Hey, you know what? Mommy’s hair is falling out.
[00:19:18] Can you help me? And just shave it off. And I gave him the clippers and just let him cut my hair off to have him have a part of that.
[00:19:28] Jenna Tomasiewicz: That’s so nice that’s kind, that’s a really nice story though, that like you kind of made him a part of that and, it’s, it is one of those things like people don’t realize like, oh, it’s just hair.
[00:19:37] It’ll grow back. But for me at least, like it was part of my identity. Like I had long blonde hair or like wavy, kind of like a sandy beachy kind of hair. And To lose it, it was like, it was devastating. It was like the, like I said earlier, like the, my three fears when I first found I had cancer was, okay, is my unborn child going to be okay?
[00:19:59] Is what is my family dynamics going to look like and am I going to lose my hair? So and I knew that like, because I was going to lose it, I. The hard decision to shave it, and I donated it to the Children’s Cancer Society because at least I knew where it was going and I didn’t. I felt like watching it fall out would’ve been more devastating for me than it just like being very short and like a crew cut and it just falling on its own.
[00:20:24] So I did that. But I remember coming home and I was worried about my son and how he would receive me. So I had a wig on for the first day and I took it off because I wanted to see like if it was going to scare him or not. And I kid you not, he looked at me and he said, mommy, you’re beautiful. And I started crying.
[00:20:45] I couldn’t believe that he said that. And so it, it just like was kind of like a pivotal moment for me. Where I was just like, you know what? He’s going to love me no matter what. He’s my son. But I think for me, the hardest part was definitely navigating through the treatment and having a newborn and a toddler at home.
[00:21:05] I had a lot of family and friend support. Luckily my mom stayed with us. She was just a godsend. And she stayed with us for most of the week and my husband had to work. So, but he had to pick up a lot of roles that he didn’t expect either. At the time, I don’t know if your husband did too and try to fill in when you couldn’t.
[00:21:27] But I think that was really hard as a mom. You’d hear your toddler crying and you just hear life going on outside the door and you just, you can’t move. Or you’re just so tired and weak and you just can’t get up. But I remember many times that I forced myself to just get up and hold the baby and be there as mom and make sure the lunches were still packed, like you said earlier, like life still goes on, like you’re still mom no matter what kind of scars you hold or what you look like.
[00:21:57] So that role never ends. So it was hard, I have to say. It was really hard to try to navigate through all of that. And then you can’t hold the baby either after the surgeries and stuff. That was difficult.
[00:22:12] Linda Gulbransen: Yeah. So how are your kids now? How is the baby with having had chemo and stuff like that?
[00:22:19] Any, anything.
[00:22:22] Jenna Tomasiewicz: Yeah, so like I said, be before, like my first birth with my first son was traumatic and I’ll spare you guys the details, but he luckily, by the grace of God, he’s doing great, but I wasn’t able to hold him for the first 10 days. When he was born, he was in nicu. So when I held him and he, we were, my husband and I were told that he is
[00:22:41] healthy and thriving, and he is okay. Like, I thought that it was just the most blissful moment of my life. Like I, that is the moment that I waited for my entire life to hold my child and like on my chest for the very first time, and him being okay. So that was that was an amazing moment for me.
[00:23:00] Sorry. I knew I’d get emotional. I just didn’t know when. So that was great. And he’s healthy and I was so scared I was so scared that he wouldn’t be. And he’s so amazing now. He’s almost two. And he’s doing great.
[00:23:17] Linda Gulbransen: That’s awesome. That’s good because like you, I would’ve been afraid I would’ve said, no, you got to wait till the baby’s born.
[00:23:25] I’ll take my chance but you can’t take those chances either. because you need to be there for your children. And I think when you’re at a young age you need to be. And even I turned 60 last year. Even last year going through all of this, I still needed to be there for my kids, and so trying to make decisions about this second time around with this dumb cancer, I mean, I just, I’m just going to say it’s dumb, cancer’s dumb it’s like. Yeah. I just have to be there, be able to be there for my kids. And so I’m still still making decisions and except this time around, they were amazing.
[00:24:11] My, my husband worked and and my daughter, she works from home. So she came here and she worked in my office during those, first week or so after each of my surgeries just to be here to help me, and so so it was different and it was great. That the, as adults now, they’re able to say, Hey mom I can come help you and do whatever.
[00:24:43] And so. I hope that you never have to go through that again. I think you’re probably having had your, the double mastectomy, you’re you’re probably good to go. Let’s hope that nothing else comes up. But yeah, it’s, it is just a lot. And I would tell people if anyone were to ask me I would tell people you.
[00:25:12] You can and you will get through it, but it’s not easy and it’s okay to especially as women because we put so much stock in our breasts and I’m I mean, we just and when they’re gone we mourn it and it’s okay to grieve that loss it’s okay to go through that process of grieving and all of those things, but
[00:25:41] You’re going to get through it. You’re but don’t put yourself down for feeling bad. And I think that as women, we do that. And when we have children, especially we feel bad because we can’t hold our babies. We feel bad because we can’t take care of them. And my biggest thing is I had to learn that it was okay to be weak.
[00:26:05] And it was okay to ask people for help. Because that’s not me. I’m just like, I got it. I got it I’ll take care of it. And I had to really learn. And even this second time around, it was even harder to be, because the surgeries were much more significant and I had to be like, okay it’s fine.
[00:26:28] Yes. Help me get out of the chair. I mean it’s just like. And so I I would tell people that that you are going to get through it and people are always like, oh, just stay positive and all that. You don’t have to be, it’s okay not to be, you can be mad and you can get angry, but you’re going to get through it eventually.
[00:26:53] Jenna Tomasiewicz: Absolutely. I definitely agree with that. Like, you find that strength that you never thought that you had and. Because you just don’t have a choice part of it. And also it’s because it is in you. And I remember like coming out of the chemo go before the first next round, you feel healthier again.
[00:27:09] It’s like, wow, I can’t believe my body can recover like that. And to just get through all of that, you just are like, people that could do it and anybody could do it are so strong. And I would definitely tell that to anybody else that are going through it, that it’s going to be tough and you are going to lose part of yourself, but you’re going to get through it and you will survive it.
[00:27:32] Adam Walker: Well, Jenna, Linda I appreciate you just sharing your world with us and allowing us to, to sort of be a fly on the wall and and hear your stories. It really means a lot. With Real Talk episodes, we’d like to leave listeners with helpful advice. So what do you want to say? About your personal experience that can give hope and encouragement to a young woman that might feel blindsided by a breast cancer diagnosis and feels like the plan that she had for her life has now been derailed.
[00:28:09] Linda Gulbransen: Well, I would just say like I said, you’re going to, you’re going to get through it. It’s going to be hard. It’s okay to be upset and angry about it, and. Maybe your plan for your life got a little derailed, but you know what? You’re just on a different track. That’s all. I mean you’re just going a different direction and and sometimes that track leads to really good things and maybe things that you weren’t expecting.
[00:28:41] So you just roll with it. Just roll with it. You’ll be okay. All
[00:28:47] Adam Walker: right, Jenna.
[00:28:48] Jenna Tomasiewicz: So to all the women out there who are listening, who are facing breast cancer, I would tell you this first, I would say let people help you. You don’t have to prove you could do it alone. So accept the meals, the childcare, the rides, the gifts.
[00:29:01] I know that I have enough blankets and socks to warm in Army, and I’ve eaten enough pasta for a lifetime, but. I can’t imagine getting through it without all the outreach from old friends, new friends, people in my community, coworkers, everything. It was just amazing and I couldn’t have done it alone.
[00:29:20] Advocate for yourself in medical decision making. So do what you feel is most comfortable for you. I know that I had to get a second opinion for my situation, and I’m very grateful for it. Take treatment one step at a time. So the chemo, radiation, surgery, hormone therapy, it’s so much. So concentrate on the next steps, breaks it down and makes it more manageable.
[00:29:43] So celebrate those small victories as each one is worth recognizing, including like each time you go to chemo, each time you go to radiation, celebrate those little things because you’re fighting. Your body may change, and that’s okay. So the hair loss, weight hormone shifts, fatigue. It can be very difficult emotionally, so give yourself grace to adjust.
[00:30:06] Healing is not just physical, it’s also about redefining how you see yourself. And lastly, I would say that cancer may interrupt your plans. It doesn’t erase your future. There will be hard days, but there will also be strength that you didn’t know that you had, and moments of deep support from others, and hope that slowly finds its way back in.
[00:30:30] So your life may look different than you expected, but it can still be very meaningful and beautiful. So thank you.
[00:30:39] Adam Walker: That’s great advice. Well, Jenna and Linda thank you for joining us on the show today and sharing your stories and just being sources of inspiration to this community. We so appreciate it.
[00:30:49] Jenna Tomasiewicz: Thank you for having me this. This was a pleasure.
[00:30:52] Linda Gulbransen: Thank you.
[00:30:59] Adam Walker: Thanks for listening to Real Pink, a weekly podcast by Susan G Komen. For more episodes, visit Real Pink.Komen.org. And for more on breast cancer, visit Komen.org. Make sure to check out at Susan G Komen on social media. I’m your host, Adam. You can find me on Twitter at AJ Walker or on my blog adam j walker.com.