[00:00:00] Adam Walker: From Susan G Komen, this is Real Pink, A podcast exploring real stories, struggles, and triumphs related to breast cancer. We’re taking the conversation from the doctor’s office to your living room.
[00:00:17] This is Real Talk, a podcast conversation where we’re digging deep into breast cancer and the realities patients and survivors face every day. We’re talking openly and honestly about just how difficult breast cancer can be from being diagnosed to selecting the right treatment plan, to living day-to-day with metastatic breast cancer and life after treatment ends.
[00:00:38] How can you be a full-time mom to your children while also facing breast cancer? Can you do both? Today’s guests share how they navigated two demanding roles, mom and patient at the same time. Young women face even greater challenges when diagnosed young with breast cancer. As many are also raising young kids.
[00:00:59] Jennie Smythe had a 2-year-old son and seven Yearold daughter when she was diagnosed, and Siana Bennett had a one-year-old son and 4-year-old daughter when she was diagnosed. Both are joining me today to tell us their stories. Ladies, thank you for leading this important conversation. Jennie, let’s start with you.
[00:01:15] Share your story, and then when you finish Siana, we’d love to hear from you as well.
[00:01:20] Jennie Smythe: Thank you for having me and allowing me a chance to share. I feel like I have everybody’s story. I was diagnosed in late 2018 at 41. So at 40 I did what I was supposed to do. I had a mammogram, it came back negative. At 41
[00:01:44] I had breast cancer and everything changed. And everything changed for several years. You know, again, a common story that we all have. And I at the time felt like I was the only person that had ever gone through that, and now I unfortunately know my story is so ridiculously common that it’s it’s unsettling.
[00:02:12] But for me all these years later to be able to be here and share my story and talk to Siana and be involved with Komen is a blessing and an honor, and I’m super happy to be here.
[00:02:30] Siana Bennett: Yeah. My name is Siana and I was diagnosed January of 2022. And. I was only 34 at the time. I had my 1-year-old and my 4-year-old, and it was like a whirlwind, you know, I went through chemotherapy, the mastectomy, and then you know, hormone therapy and then had a recurrence again and had to go through the process again.
[00:03:00] So it’s been a long journey, but I am so with you, Jennie, I think like it’s beautiful that you know, through the trials we can see the blessings and the beauty on the other side, and this is one of them today. So I’m super happy to be here too, to be able to talk with you about it.
[00:03:16] Jennie Smythe: You know what’s really funny is that people will ask me, it’s almost like am I grateful?
[00:03:24] You know, like that they don’t use those words. But because I have been able to share my story publicly, I think the the natural follow up question to something that someone has to tackle like this is, did it make you a better person? And I struggle with that answer because I’m adamant about saying no.
[00:03:48] I mean, I’m, there’s nothing I’m grateful about getting cancer or anyone getting cancer is not like one of those experiences that I would wish on anyone. But there are certain aspects of going through the journey that I think have maybe made me a little bit more in tune to other people and their struggles.
[00:04:12] Right, right. But the difficult thing that I’m having at this stage now is. Exactly what I think you can answer, you know, better than I can to say like, well, are you worried it’s gonna come back? Are you what’s the word I’m looking for? They’re always saying like, oh, have you been cleared?
[00:04:36] Are you cancer? Yes. Are you in remission? Right. Yes. And I don’t know how to answer that question. I am hesitant. To answer it in any way without considering who I’m speaking to. Because a lot of times it’s a cancer patient and so I try to say to them, Hey, I have the kind of cancer I have for the, for those of you that.
[00:05:04] Pay attention or know, and I’m sorry that any of us have to know any of this, but I’m HER2 positive. And I just hit five years on Tamoxifen, which is a whole nother podcast that we can all talk about. But I. I, I’m very hesitant to say, yeah, I’m good, you know, but I also don’t wanna not be good.
[00:05:30] So I am, I’m really curious how you battle that answer after you’ve had a recurrence. I feel like that’s a really big deal.
[00:05:41] Siana Bennett: It is I feel like I, I’m kind of like with you, depending on who I’m talking to, I kind of maybe tiptoe, oh I’m good, you know, but in the back of your mind, you’re like, you know, I’m not good.
[00:05:53] And I think for me it’s being okay with it. It’s okay to feel that way. I think it’s completely normal to feel like that fear in the back of your mind, but I think it’s what we do with it. And, I typically will tell people just one day at a time because that’s how I’ve always stood. You know, my mom battled cancer in my early twenties, so I had to watch her and she unfortunately passed through it.
[00:06:22] So that even gave my journey a whole different perspective too. But. I’ve always been, we’re just gonna take it one day at a time. Today I’m good. And you know, tomorrow I might not be, but I think it’s, like you said, it just all depends on who you’re talking to and you know, just how honest and open we wanna be with ourselves too, with that question.
[00:06:45] Because when we actually say it, then it’s the reality of it, you know?
[00:06:51] Jennie Smythe: So your mother was also a breast cancer patient?
[00:06:55] Siana Bennett: She was not, she had stage four colon cancer.
[00:06:58] Jennie Smythe: Okay. So we, that’s another thing we have in common. My, my father passed away from pancreatic cancer. But I was 30, I was, you know, I was not a, I was not a child.
[00:07:10] Still too young, but like, I wasn’t a child. But so as a parent when I got that news, I’m sure you were very similar in, I. I mean I can go back to that first 24 hour period after
[00:07:29] the diagnosis and tell you that I had the, some of the strangest and funniest thoughts. You know, you just don’t know what synapse is gonna happen in your brain, but I remember thinking.
[00:07:45] Mom things. I remember thinking, oh my gosh, I’m never gonna get life insurance. I should have taken out a bigger policy. I thought, how am I gonna, how am I gonna tell them? You know, like it was, it all went into the only experience that I had really had, which was watching my father pass.
[00:08:07] Siana Bennett: Exactly.
[00:08:08] Jennie Smythe: And being a mother of two small children, which you had two, do you remember those first 24 hours? Like how did, what did you do?
[00:08:16] Siana Bennett: Oh yeah, I, so my kids were playing outside and my doctor called me and she was like, are you okay? And I am, I told her, I am just trying to breathe right now because I didn’t wanna be an emotional wreck in front of my kids.
[00:08:32] And you know, it’s, even you brought up the question, how am I gonna tell my kids? And my whole thought process was, how am I gonna protect them from this worry and fear of it? Yeah. How am I gonna almost hide it, you know, in a sense. Because watching my mom go through that and, you know, medicines come a long way treatments and all that, but watching my mom suffer and you know, but her attitude was always still awesome.
[00:09:03] I never. I didn’t want my kids to feel bad.
[00:09:06] Jennie Smythe: That’s it.
[00:09:06] Siana Bennett: You know, I didn’t want them to have that worry, like, is mom gonna be okay? And I still struggle because now that my kids are older, it’s like, when do I start to have that conversation with them? This happened because they know mommy was sick.
[00:09:22] They know mommy has a bad arm, you know, from surgeries and stuff, but they don’t know too The extent of what it is.
[00:09:30] Jennie Smythe: Well, I think that’s kind of the interesting thing about us talking together is that you were auto, yes, you get that news, but you’re instantly go into mom protection, protect mode.
[00:09:45] Siana Bennett: Yep.
[00:09:46] Jennie Smythe: And even though you are absolutely brutally aware of what’s happening to, to your body, you know? And I I don’t know if you had a similar experience, if you didn’t. I just felt like those first couple of months, the way people spoke to me about breast cancer was almost the way that they speak to you about pregnancy.
[00:10:12] It’s like, you know, they were talking to me about my boobs not like cancer, you know? And you know, here’s all the things that are happening to you. Like, here’s a chart, here’s a graph. You know, like, here’s what’s normal in a very abnormal situation. And I just thought it was interesting.
[00:10:32] I Hemmed and hawed about my, am I going to try to save my hair during ca chemo? And I same. And I saw, you know, I saw when I read your Komen..
[00:10:43] Siana Bennett: I saw you did the cap.
[00:10:45] Jennie Smythe: And I’m, and I don’t, you know, no shame to anybody else, but I’m telling you the reason why I did it. Is because I felt like everything was getting taken away from me.
[00:10:57] And I just thought, if I can go to the grocery store with my 7-year-old at the time and no one stares at me and asks me questions, that would be the ultimate win. And I think about that. Because I do wonder, like it, you know, not that it’s worth the energy being spent to wonder about things that haven’t happened or haven’t happened yet, but like I thought, you know, when you, before you’re a cancer patient you you think you’re gonna react to something in a certain way.
[00:11:35] I really thought I was gonna be the kind of person that was like, well, screw it. I’ll just shape my head. I was not that person. I mean, I was like, I don’t care how much it hurts. I don’t care what the time commitment is or the cost commitment, like I’m gonna find a way to salvage something of myself for my public.
[00:12:02] You know, persona. And it’s so weird because up until that point in my life that I’d never, I never figured that I would be, but it, what it really came down to was not my hair. It came down to being able to go to school functions or the grocery store or whatever. And maybe just maybe nobody knowing that I was sick.
[00:12:26] Siana Bennett: I’m a hundred percent with you because for me it was like, because every, you know, people are like, it’s just hair. It will grow back. But you know, your hair’s been a part of you your whole life, you know? And it’s like exactly what you said. I didn’t want my 4-year-old to ask me, well mommy, why don’t you have hair?
[00:12:48] You know, and it’s any type of normalcy, like you said, just to be able to go out and feel like I’m still Siana, I’m still Jennie. Right. You know, I’m not just a cancer patient. Yeah. You know, and for the longest time when I first was diagnosed, I really was hush about it. I didn’t not wanna talk about it.
[00:13:10] I’m gonna be as normal as possible, you know, as much as I can. And. You know, I don’t know if that was a good or bad thing when it, I had my recurrence. I was a little bit more open about it, but that thought of, well, somebody could ask me in front of my child That’s right. And then what do I do?
[00:13:29] Jennie Smythe: Yes.
[00:13:29] Siana Bennett: You know, how do I answer that?
[00:13:31] At that point.
[00:13:32] Jennie Smythe: I went into hyper control, the narrative move, which is partially just because of what I do for a living. I just thought I would get in front of it and. I wanted to sit our close family and friends that are in our home all the time down my coworkers, and I wanted them to hear from me how I was like I didn’t, I, and so I was very measured in what I told my son was two.
[00:14:06] He had no idea. The only thing that he knew, which I think you probably can relate to when you had your 1-year-old, is that after the mastectomy, you couldn’t pick anybody up.
[00:14:18] Siana Bennett: Yes.
[00:14:18] Jennie Smythe: So that was definitely a challenge. And it hurt my feelings and I felt real sad. I mean, I don’t know how to simplify it.
[00:14:28] It was just, that was one of those things that I couldn’t, I, I just could, I felt very sick. I felt very sick. But I wanted to control the news, you know, like I was tired of answering these big, sweeping, general questions about how are you? That was like the most annoying question that anyone could ever ask me, and they probably had the most amazing intentions ever.
[00:15:00] But I was like, man, that is, you know, crazy. So I started writing things down and saying to people, Hey, you know what’s super helpful? If you wanna say, Hey, how are you doing today? I am going to Starbucks. Can I bring you something? Or, you know, whatever. I almost rebelled against the pink bubble as it were.
[00:15:24] I, you know, I remember saying, man. If one more person sends me a blanket, I’m gonna have a meltdown. And I know that’s now, I just know that people are trying their best and they don’t know. And I shudder to think about things that I’ve done with people who have been in situations. You know, like I that’s the empathy level that I think I was talking to in the beginning.
[00:15:52] But there were certain things as a mom, I remember my daughter was old enough to know when I wasn’t well.
[00:16:05] And I remember her opening the door to my bedroom and then shutting the door. And then I remember hearing real life happening outside of my bedroom and I felt. About midway through, I’m not sure what your chemo regime was.
[00:16:26] Mine was 12 rounds of Taxol and all the things. So it was just a lot of weeks, you know, and it was cumulatively, it just kind of got worse for me. But with that being said, you know, I had a good prognosis, so it was like, okay, we just gotta get through this. My son does not remember anything.
[00:16:52] Yeah. But very long time, every time I went to have labs, which I’m just recently now going once a year instead of every six months. Yeah. I have to say to her, everything’s fine. It’s routine. But in the back of my mind, it’s never, everything is fine and nothing’s ever routine. Right. But I’m still saying that to her as a 13-year-old because I just don’t want her to worry.
[00:17:21] Siana Bennett: Well, and I think that’s the biggest thing is like, like we talked about, we wanna protect them from the harsh reality of a lot of things. But it’s also okay. But we’re gonna have to eventually talk to, especially our girls about it because they are gonna have to take of themselves. And that’s a whole nother level of a conversation is how do I help my daughter be proactive now, you know, with this?
[00:17:47] Yeah. And not fear. Too herself that this could be a possibility for me now. And I kind of battled back and forth in my head too, with different ideas and all that. But I think it’s okay to not know the answer quite yet.
[00:18:05] Jennie Smythe: Yeah.
[00:18:05] Siana Bennett: And to just take my time and figure it out. Like I always say, just one step at a time.
[00:18:14] And my youngest too Clark. He doesn’t remember definitely from the first round, because he was so little, but the second round he definitely noticed more. He noticed mommy was different and all, especially when I did radiation. I love to tell this story because it’s like there’s so, there’s sponges and I always tell my kids, you know, Bobos make you strong. You know, they just help you become better. And it was like my final week of radiation and my chest was completely burned, like flesh exposed, and I was changing my bandages in the bathroom and he walked in and I kind of like just got real still.
[00:18:55] because I’m like, oh shoot, I, this is not what I wanted him to. Right. See. He just comes up to me and he taps me and he’s like, it’s okay, mom. Bobos make you strong. And it’s like, you know, in your weakest points, and I’m sure you’ve been through that too, your kids just can lift you up to just push that much further, you know, to do things and do what you gotta do.
[00:19:21] Jennie Smythe: I mean, in a way. It’s, and I don’t mean this in a performative sense, but like I didn’t have the luxury of wallowing in my occasional self pity. Because I still got up and made breakfast in the morning. And I think about that. I think about that a lot, about the strength, the physicality of just getting up.
[00:19:47] But I also, again. Silver linings, you know, that aren’t so they’re not sparkly silver linings. They’re just, you know, they’re kind of gray linings. I am getting up out of bed, getting outta my own head thinking about things was imperative to my recovery and what that did for me, because I still continued working as much as I can.
[00:20:14] But I also walked. I got an, even if I couldn’t walk a lot, I walked my driveway, I would do like loops. Like an absolute crazy person. I’m sure my neighborhood’s like, what is that woman doing? Because I couldn’t sweat, right? Because I was like trying to not get my hair. So, and I live in Nashville, Tennessee, you guys, it’s hot and humid here.
[00:20:41] But, and. I just couldn’t, I just couldn’t. I would just, I need to get some sunshine. I need to get outside.
[00:20:50] Siana Bennett: But I do believe in that because I’m a personal trainer, so movement is my thing and I made sure like. Like, I always tell people, you know, we can get face tough times, but we gotta present, like our attitude is what’s gonna get us through it.
[00:21:08] So, and I tell my clients that, and I followed by that too. So I too worked as much as I could. Teaching classes and stuff like that, and. I fully believe, like for the mental health part, I mean that is so crucial because doing something so good for your body is gonna put you just in a better place for our kids, you know, to get through that day while also creating still that sense of normalcy, you know?
[00:21:37] That’s why I stuck with work too, was because, no, I. I don’t wanna stop, I don’t just wanna sit and think about cancer all day long. Right.
[00:21:45] Jennie Smythe: You know, there’s only so many episodes of SVU you can watch, you know? Right. And the surgeries. I don’t I, as the surgeries were different because you know, just like you said, there’s
[00:22:04] there’s an operation, there are bandages, there are Dr the dreaded drains. All the things. Oh, yes. I, but you get better and like you can see it in the mirror, right? Yes. Whereas sometimes when you’re going through chemo, you know I would kind of get into the mode where I knew. If I was gonna have chemo on Thursday, I knew like, probably Saturday is not gonna be my best day.
[00:22:35] Like, try to schedule it around. So that I could still continue to like, do certain things. But it is interesting, you know the, some of the silent war that you have going on si inside as a mom, you know, whether it’s going on to hormone. You know, treatments and things like that. And after the initial diagnosis, and then also the, you know the surgeries are over, the chemo is over, the radiation is over.
[00:23:14] Now it’s you and this Tamoxifen pill, and you’re, and you have, you know, a whole set of issues with that.
[00:23:24] I have found that I have suffered silently through some of those things, you know? And I hesitate to use the word suffer because I’m so grateful that for five years, it’s worked for me. So grateful that I, there is this medication that I can continue on.
[00:23:44] But, you know, I, and it, and maybe it’s just interesting now as moms that we’ve probably are talking more about perimenopause and menopause than we ever have before. You know, and I’m try to, and you as a trainer, like you get this like you’re. You, I, you know you’re battling your weight, you’re battling your hormones.
[00:24:06] Yep. You’re battling all of these things, but then you just remember that your body just went through this, like, you know, it’s not just a hundred
[00:24:12] percent
[00:24:13] right. And so when you’re done with the treatment with a lot of other diseases or afflictions that people suffer from, there’s an end date. Okay. And in our case.
[00:24:28] Not, that’s not the, that’s not it. And so breast cancer community, for me, I wasn’t really ready to accept anything until after the treatment. Like I, it was about a year afterwards that I had been finished with the surgeries that I started to really connect with other survivors that were 3, 4, 5 years ahead of me.
[00:24:58] And boy was that a game changer because then I met women like you that were. The same thing, the two kids, the working through it, the, you know all of it. But everybody has like a slightly different, you know, variation.
[00:25:13] Siana Bennett: Yeah. Take on. Yeah.
[00:25:14] Jennie Smythe: But there was something truly tremendous for me to connect with people who had actually been through it, as opposed to my friends, God bless them, they tried their best, but they just don’t know how it feels.
[00:25:28] I needed, as a mom. To talk to other people that were moms, not just survivors, because there was a nuance about some of the things that I was feeling. Even though I was older, I knew I wasn’t gonna be a mom again. But the fact that, that was like a choice that was taken away from me, you know? And then I kept meeting younger and younger women that maybe their choice to be mothers was eliminated completely. And so I was very conscious to not, it’s not somebody struggling more or less, right? No. It’s just getting to the heart of what we were dealing with and having somebody to say, oh yeah, girl, I did that.
[00:26:16] And this is what worked for me. Or, oh, I did that and that was like, that was a waste of time. Try this instead, you know? And yeah I really found a lot of those people through my Komen experience and word of mouth, you know, and people in my own city who had in my own business and my own circle that had been through it.
[00:26:40] Siana Bennett: Oh yeah. I feel like no one journey is the same and, you know it’s just people can give you their best advice, but until you go through it, it is really hard to process. And you know, I think one of the biggest journeys is like during treatment, we are in fight and flight mode. You know, we are on it.
[00:27:05] I’ve got this, you know, I’ve told everybody, I want you to just tell me I’ve got this believe in me. And. It’s like the real, I find one of the hardest parts is when you’re done because then you have to sit back and literally process, what did I just go through? You know? because I even thought the other day, like, man, three years of my life were dealt with treatment during my kids’ core years of life.
[00:27:31] And I was present, you know, but maybe not always mentally present. And that kind of you know, bums me out a little bit, but at the same time I’m always like, you gotta love yourself through the process of it. Because some days we’re good, some days we’re okay, and it’s okay to not be okay. When you’re in this situation, there’s no right or wrong.
[00:27:58] And I’m with you. I had a great support system. I had, I mean, our community in St. Charles Parish, it’s like when one hurts, they’re all diving in for you. And that really helped push me to really give everything, you know, for this to fight and, you know, make it through.
[00:28:19] Jennie Smythe: So did you ring your bell?
[00:28:23] Siana Bennett: I did.
[00:28:24] Did you? I didn’t. Why?
[00:28:30] Jennie Smythe: I don’t, I feel like I was more scared at the end of chemo than I was at the beginning of chemo. Because it was like there was something strangely comforting about going in there every week getting the labs. Oh yeah. The nurses dealing with whatever. Issue I was having and there was always, you know, weak, whack-a-mole with, you know different symptoms and whatnot. But I didn’t ring the bell because I think that was the first time that I sort of accepted like, oh my gosh, like, what am I gonna do with all these people?
[00:29:13] And. I don’t think that was necessarily the most rational thing.
[00:29:19] I feel like I should have celebrated a little bit more. And but we were, you know, we were, I, you just, like I said I asked that question because it’s like if somebody asked me now. If a friend reached out and said, tomorrow’s my bell, I would be like, can I come? Or make sure you get a great video.
[00:29:41] Like, you know, make sure you get that photo, like you ring that bell, you know? Yeah. because I was scared to ring the bell because it was like, oh what am I now? What?
[00:29:51] Siana Bennett: Yeah. I said the exact same words. Somebody asked me, oh, you just beat cancer. Like, how do you feel? And I was like. What’s next,
[00:29:59] right?
[00:29:59] And I’m like,
[00:29:59] oh my gosh. If you really sit back and think about that comment, it’s like, you know, you should be beaming right now. You did it. And it’s not to say I’m not grateful, like you said, but it’s the reality now I have to get back to my normal self, which I’m not the same person anymore. And it’s hard.
[00:30:19] And you know, to even go, you asked me if I rang a bell. I did, but I still have my port. I haven’t been able to park with it yet, you know, so it’s like we all have our little crutch that we kind of rely on for like that safety protection feel.
[00:30:34] Jennie Smythe: Yeah.
[00:30:35] Siana Bennett: And eventually, I know I will let it go. I just need to let myself get to that point.
[00:30:41] Jennie Smythe: Yes. Your recurrence is like literally all of us think that’s the what if, right?
[00:30:49] Siana Bennett: Right.
[00:30:50] Jennie Smythe: So. I think if you wouldn’t mind sharing. I know, I would love to hear how you dealt with that, because it, I think oftentimes a lot of us build up to something that might not, you know, it might not, I don’t wanna say it’s as bad, but like, you know, do you have more tools as an experienced person how did you get through those moments?
[00:31:18] Siana Bennett: So my recurrence, you know, I found it I found a lump in my left armpit and I actually found my first initial lump in my left breast. And, you know, I’m like, oh, maybe it’s just scar tissue, you know, but in the back of your mind it’s always that, what if.
[00:31:37] And I went in, sure enough, it was a mass and on my lymph nodes and.
[00:31:45] You know, it almost hurt worse than the first time. Hearing the words again. And I don’t know why as crazy as that sounds, but it was just like, and I guess maybe it’s because the reality, man, I’m gonna have to go through this again and it’s probably gonna be more this time and we don’t know the extent of it yet.
[00:32:07] So I remember getting home and, you know, my dad was here waiting because me and my husband, I just went and had my ultrasound done and found out that it was a mass. We still didn’t know if it was cancer, but we just assumed based off of the re radiologist that it was, and you know, he’s like, you just need to hug your kids, tighten all that stuff.
[00:32:27] Then I just let it out and I just balled. That’s all I can think of, you know, is them now older, you know, before I could hide it a little bit more, but now them older and I’m going to have to. Do this again with an even bigger surgery now a lymph node dissection to remove all of them. And it’s, you know I could say in a sense, am I glad it came back.
[00:32:55] Absolutely not. But I was on hormone therapy and it came back triple negative. So therefore I could get off of hormone therapy. So it’s like kind of that, it’s a gray lining, you know, blessing in disguise right there. As mad as that sounds. But that’s the way I look at it because I’m just the type of person I have to find some good in something.
[00:33:20] Is it great that it happened? Absolutely not. I wouldn’t wish this upon anybody, you know? But I’m grateful for the way that it played out. And that recurrence is scary. And it’s still scary to think there could also be another
[00:33:35] always,
[00:33:36] you know, recurrence. I think we all feel that way, but it, you just have to try to put that in the back of your mind.
[00:33:47] You know as much as you can. And I believe time heals some, you know, it will always be there, but. I can’t also stay in that moment of the what if it happens again?
[00:34:00] Jennie Smythe: You know, you said something at the beginning of the call, I mean at be at the beginning of this taping that I think we can all take away from us.
[00:34:07] And that is believe in me. Like yes. If people don’t know what to say, they don’t know what to do. They don’t know how to show up for you and you don’t have, you know, I mean, they try, but if all they could say is I believe in you. And that you’re making the right decisions for you and that you’ll call me if you need me or whatever.
[00:34:28] Wouldn’t that be like the most loveliest way to be supported?
[00:34:32] Siana Bennett: Yes. And I, I’ve always said that, you know, I’ve told people, I don’t want you to worry. I just want you to believe in me. And maybe that was why I worked so hard to keep such a normal routine of life, you know, kids off to school, you know, go to work and all that was because
[00:34:51] in a sense, maybe if I show that I’m tired today, which I had a lot of those days, I had a lot of rough days. That humbled me real quick. But if I showed that, maybe they would stop believing. Yeah. You know, and that’s a whole nother pattern right there of mental, you know, awareness going on when you’re battling and all that stuff.
[00:35:12] But I believe that is like the best words you can give somebody is I believe in you. So I really do.
[00:35:20] Jennie Smythe: I’m taking it. I’ll give you, but I’m taking it.
[00:35:23] Siana Bennett: Yeah, take it. Take it girl.
[00:35:25] Jennie Smythe: Did your kids do anything silly for you? Did you remember having, like, I remember one birthday that I had and we couldn’t really do anything, but we made like the ugliest homemade chocolate cake.
[00:35:41] Oh, and we were at home and I just remember blowing out the candles and like it was one of those ugly, happy cries, you know? Oh yes. But I was just so thrilled to be celebrating a birthday and to be at home well enough that day to make and eat a chocolate cake with my kids.
[00:36:04] Siana Bennett: Oh yeah, I, so when I had my lymph nodes removed my arm was, I pretty much couldn’t move it.
[00:36:11] So. My kids eat. Like you said earlier, it was hard because you can’t hold your kids and everything and they try to get close and I’m like, watch Mommy’s bad arm. Watch it. And so I was like, you know, I was talking to a friend and she’s like, well, what if you let them paint your arm so they still kind of feel involved with you, but it won’t hurt and everything.
[00:36:29] And I was like, you know what? That’s what we’re gonna do. So I let them go to town on my arm. I let them paint my arm and it’s funny because my daughter at the time, she was able to start really drawing well. I would hold my arm like it was in a sling to kind of, I guess protect it. Yeah. So when she would draw family pictures of my husband and us, she would draw my arm kind of tucked in like a sling, so you would know that’s mommy’s bad arm.
[00:36:53] Jennie Smythe: I love that idea so much.
[00:36:55] Adam Walker: Well this has been this has been a good conversation. I mean, I really appreciate the way you two have interacted and the stories that you’ve shared and, I think it’s really meaningful to a lot of our audience and applicable. And so I guess, you know to wrap up I, I wanted to ask like, what do you wanna say to the young mom that’s listening right now that’s struggling to care for herself through treatment?
[00:37:22] Siana Bennett: So I would tell you it is okay to be not okay. Like I always said, and I said it throughout this podcast, to take it one step at a time and to love yourself through the process of it all. I really believe that. I think we can all look back at different points of our life, whether it’s cancer or not, and say, you know, I was really hard on myself during that time for not being maybe the mom I should have been, but I did the best I could, and that’s what you’re doing too.
[00:37:53] Through that, loving yourself. Through that process, you will find an either even bigger amount of growth from you as a person. From that.
[00:38:05] Jennie Smythe: I think my advice is to find, even if it’s me or if it’s Siana, like you can find us. Have a mom in your corner who’s been there. Who can talk to you in those moments of weakness, but who is also gonna probably tell you to get up and take a walk.
[00:38:23] Adam Walker: That’s great advice. All right, last question one more. What would you say has been the greatest benefit from asking for help and allowing others to help do things that you could not?
[00:38:37] Siana Bennett: Man, I, you know, I knew I was loved, but I didn’t realize how much I was loved. And to me that was probably one of the greatest blessings.
[00:38:45] Like my husband was a rock through this. Like I always said, he saved my life and he literally saved my life, my family, my community, like they all rallied to help me, support me with fundraisers. The cap, my clients worked with me so I could go to doctor’s appointments, people came and babysat my kids for me.
[00:39:07] And you know, it just makes, puts a lot into perspective about how, you know, we see a lot of wrong in this world, a lot of bad stuff in this world. But from that, from this situation, you can see so much beauty from it too. The good side of it.
[00:39:26] Jennie Smythe: I had a very similar experience with my community, my coworkers, my family.
[00:39:33] I will say that I think had I not come to the term, come to terms that I needed help. I wouldn’t be able to help as many people as I do now, and that is important for me. It gives me a purpose to help helping people, gives me a purpose that is more fulfilling than any other situation probably, besides motherhood.
[00:40:01] So for me, being able to play, pay that forward is. Just a g it’s a gift that I can’t even put into words.
[00:40:15] Siana Bennett: You know, a lot of us think strong is like holding it together and all that, but being able to ask for help, man. That is strong.
[00:40:21] Adam Walker: That’s right. That is strong. And on that note I’ll wrap up because I don’t have anything to add to that.
[00:40:27] So ladies, thank you so much for sharing your world with us, your families, your stories and your inspiration. It’s been such a pleasure to get to spend this time with you today.
[00:40:36] Siana Bennett: Thank you. Thank you.
[00:40:43] Adam Walker: Thanks for listening to Real Pink, a weekly podcast by Susan G Komen. For more episodes, visit real pink.Komen.org. And for more on breast cancer, visit Komen.org. Make sure to check out at Susan G Komen on social media. I’m your host, Adam. You can find me on Twitter at AJ Walker or on my blog adam j walker.com.