[00:00:00] Adam Walker: From Susan G Komen, this is Real Pink, A podcast exploring real stories, struggles, and triumphs related to breast cancer. We’re taking the conversation from the doctor’s office to your living room.
[00:00:17] Today on Real Pink, we’re joined by someone who knows what it means to care deeply for others and what it feels like when life suddenly requires that the same care and compassion be turned inward. She’s a devoted mother and caregiver to her son, and when she was diagnosed with breast cancer, she found that she was more mentally prepared to navigate it than expected.
[00:00:37] Sabrina Thomas is here to tell her story, including how she advocated for herself and learned to accept help from others when she’s so used to being the one who gives it. This conversation is a reminder that strength comes in many forms. Sabrina, welcome to the show.
[00:00:54] Sabrina Thomas: Thank you. Glad to be here.
[00:00:57] Adam Walker: Well I’m really excited to talk about this.
[00:01:02] Want to, I want to get to your breast cancer diagnosis, but let’s start with your caregiving history. So you’re a caregiver to your son. Tell us a little bit about that, and then tell us about your breast cancer diagnosis.
[00:01:11] Sabrina Thomas: Okay, so my son is, he just turned 25 yesterday, so he had a birthday yesterday and he was diagnosed when he was about three with cerebral palsy and then about nine years old
[00:01:26] Autism and then I guess around four or five, he had an intellectual disability. So, you know, up until, you know, he was 18, you know, they consider you, you know, not a caregiver because you’re momming right? You’re momming for that. So after that you know, because after 18 you’re considered a caregiver.
[00:01:45] But so my son is nonverbal at the same time, so. I just, my journey with him when I had him at 25 weeks gestation it started right then the advocacy started, you know, going in, you know, being his voice, especially because he’s nonverbal. So I had to advocate with him, with the doctors advocate, with him, with the school system, with any people, family, you know.
[00:02:14] And his journey taught me a lot about patience. I mean, I think he talked the whole family about patience. Patience and strength and just being unconditional love. You know, because you really, you hear about it, but you don’t go through it until you go through it, you know? So I think in hindsight, looking back, his journey prepared me better for my journey, if that makes any sense.
[00:02:38] You know? I had a lot of tools in me, already had a fight in me, you know? Just taking care of him for the last 25 years. So when I got my diagnosis, I was ready to go in, like, I got to do the research, you know, the same thing I was doing with him. You know, when the doctors tell me something I’m researching, I’m, I respect the doctors, but I also look into everything to make sure that this is right, you know, that I understand what you guys are talking about.
[00:03:05] Because when I first got his diagnosis, I didn’t know what autism or cerebral palsy was I had no idea of none of this stuff. So I had to learn it for myself. Yeah.
[00:03:16] Adam Walker: Yeah. So it’s been very, you want to be informed. I mean, it’s, that that’s important. Yeah. Yeah. So, alright. So, so now that’s the caregiver background.
[00:03:24] The momming background. Yeah. Tell us about your breast cancer.
[00:03:28] Sabrina Thomas: Okay, so I was diagnosed February 24th, 2023. I was trying on a bathing suit, getting ready to go on a cruise for Mother’s Day. And I felt a lump, you know, when I was trying on my bathing suit. And I was like, oh, what is this? You know, thinking, not thinking that it was breast cancer
[00:03:45] because in my head at the time, it doesn’t run in my family, and I didn’t want to, you know, nobody wants to go to the negative. So I said it might be a little cyst or a little lump, whatever, but I didn’t want to ignore it, so I said I’m going to, you know, get it taken care of. So I called the doctor and they told me they didn’t have a, an appointment for like a
[00:04:04] like a weeks, months or whatever. And I was like no, I can’t wait. I need an appointment. And the only appointment that they had was a couple days later, but it was two hours away. Okay. So we going to take that appointment, I’m taking off of work, get in a hotel, so I’ll be there the night before, you know, be already ready because cook is traffic.
[00:04:22] And then that’s when I, you know, started the journey, you know, per se. because I took a mammogram a 3D, and they said, Hey, you know, we see something, you know, and I’m still in my head, no. It could be not what, you know, whatever. But that’s when the journey started. I went from one test to another test, one test to a biopsy and on, until the doctor said, you have breast cancer.
[00:04:46] And that’s when, kind of like the world stopped for a second, you know?
[00:04:50] Adam Walker: Yeah. Yeah. I love that tenacity. You know, like, like, no a month later that, that doesn’t work for me. No, we not doing, tell me what you got. I’ll drive two hours. Like, no, I love that tenacity. That’s so great. Alright, so, so you already alluded to this, but want to, I want to dig a little deeper into it.
[00:05:06] So you mentioned that the way you had to advocate for your son. You were prepared to advocate for yourself and you also mentioned like self-education, right? Yeah. So talk a little bit more about like that natural flow from how advocating to your son helped you to advocate for yourself and what that looked like.
[00:05:23] Sabrina Thomas: You know, advocacy, because of my son, it’s been in my blood. It’s part of like, it’s almost part of my DNA, you know? So I believe that when you know better, you do better. You know, you have to ask questions. I got second opinions for my son at times. I got second opinions for me. Not that I didn’t trust the doctors, but this is a big deal.
[00:05:42] You know, you know, I’m having surgery. Things going to probably be removed. I need to know that I know that I’m comfortable with the decisions that I’m making. And I believe when you do that when you’re making decisions that’s life changing, you need to have knowledge. Not that we don’t trust the doctors, but we need to have a clear under, I think I needed to have a clear understanding of the whole process, everything that I was going through.
[00:06:07] So I think, like I said, Omar taught my son, Omar taught me that because I went through this and I’m still going through, you know, things with him. I went through this process year after year, month after month with him. It’s just something in me, you know? because I’m an advocate that makes me want to know more, you know, understand more because I came his voice.
[00:06:30] So I had to make sure that my voice as loud as it was for him, you know? Because nobody knows your body like you do and nobody can fight like you can, right? Self-advocacy. So I just think naturally that just helped me prepare for what was about to come. Which I didn’t know what was about to come, but what was about to come.
[00:06:51] Adam Walker: I love that. I think you said if you know better, you do better. And like, man, if that’s not a t-shirt, like that was so good. Wow. I was like I love that. It’s so great. So, all right, so so we got to talk about accepting help. Like you, your role for a very large portion of your life Was
[00:07:10] caregiver, the, the help giver to someone else. And now you shifted into receiving help. Was that shift difficult and what was that like for you?
[00:07:23] Sabrina Thomas: Yeah, you know, that was hard. You know, to be honest, that’s one of the, one of the hardest parts. I’m so used to being the strong one, you know, I’m so used to being the mama bear.
[00:07:31] So others come to me, you know, I’m there for other people. But this journey. Humble. Humble. It will really humble you. And it reminded me you know, it reminded me somewhere along the line what my strengths were. That it isn’t about me being there for everybody else. I’m not super woman. I don’t have to be, I just needed to be a woman, you know, at that time.
[00:07:54] I’m always trying to fix everything, make everything better, and find out everything, but allowing others to pour into me. It really healed me in a way, and I, you know, one person said to me because it was a little overwhelming you’re finally getting back what you put out, you know, you’re finally getting what you put out you’re getting back.
[00:08:18] So I had community of friends, people from the church, my family, people that I didn’t think that was going to show up. They showed up. And you know, like I said, I just I was telling people I don’t understand where’s all this coming from? And everybody said the same thing in a different way. You’re just, we’re just giving you what you gave us.
[00:08:37] So that, you know, that helps. But you know, strangers, you know, stood up for me, prayed for me when I didn’t, you know, when I asked them and when I didn’t ask them, you know, make sure my kids Omar went to the doctors, make sure he had food. I couldn’t cook, you know, make sure I had the things that I need.
[00:08:56] People were delivering water, cases of water and boosts, you know, the boosts when I was going through chemo. And I didn’t want to eat to ensure, boost to make sure I had my protein. You know, nonstop. You know, I didn’t miss a beat, I didn’t miss a beat on bills or anything. But it still humbles you that you have to receive this
[00:09:14] because I’m used to the give being a giver.
[00:09:17] Adam Walker: Yeah. So, so did you have to ask for help or did it manifest because of everything you’d sort of put out in the world.
[00:09:27] Sabrina Thomas: But no, I didn’t. People were calling me. That’s why I was like, whoa. Like what? What is going on? People were calling me and saying, Hey, you know, what do you need?
[00:09:36] I’m sending you this. Go to Amazon, make an account, duh dah. I didn’t have to ask anybody. They just did it because I, you know what? And I’m glad because I wouldn’t have done it. If I had to ask you for something, it wouldn’t have happened. because I’m just not that kind of person. Of course, if I needed something from my mom or my older son, but if I had to ask someone to do all these things, it would’ve never happened.
[00:09:57] because I wouldn’t have done it. You know? But I didn’t have to. I didn’t have to at all. I would just say, you know, for anybody listening you know, that’s, that has a problem with someone helping you take the help because, you know no one. No one should be able to, no one should be fighting breast cancer or any kind of cancer alone.
[00:10:18] So take the support, get the support from your family and friends. And don’t think that we all have, like I said, I don’t have to be super woman. I just needed to be a woman. And that’s it. That’s my final thought on as far as that part. Take the help. You know, we, it’s not a, it’s not a alone journey.
[00:10:33] It’s a journey for a group of everybody. Your family goes through it. Your husband, your wives, your kids, they don’t have cancer, but they’re fighting. They’re on a journey with you.
[00:10:43] Adam Walker: I love that. You don’t have to be superwoman, you just got to be a woman. Like that’s, I love that. That’s beautiful.
[00:10:48] You’re like you got good you got good quotes today. I love that. All right, so did you have a history of breast cancer in your family?
[00:10:56] Sabrina Thomas: Well, yes, but I didn’t know that. So I told the doctors initially, no. I said, I don’t have any breast cancer. Like, I don’t know where this is coming from. And then September 4th, 2023, I did a post on Facebook.
[00:11:11] It was my birthday. And, you know, I was talking about being grateful and having gratitude, thankful for life. And then I said, and I’m coming straight out of chemo. I was just finished my chemo and people were inboxing me left and right, cousins and you know, family members and aunts. I was talking to for years.
[00:11:31] Never knew they had it. Went through chemo every, my, one of my aunts had just passed away and I went to my, the funeral and my cousin said, well, you know, you know, aunt, auntie had cancer. Well I didn’t know that. You know, someone dies at 91. You just thinking old age and then it’s kind of rude to be asking people, you know, you know, you don’t want to go into the details unless they share it with you.
[00:11:54] But I come to find out my father’s side, all of the sisters had cancer. I didn’t know. And then except for one, had, most of my cousins had it. My very close first cousins I never knew. It’s like a well kept secret. I don’t know why. It shouldn’t be a secret, but it was like a secret. They were like, I don’t know why.
[00:12:14] It was almost like people were ashamed and didn’t want to tell people. I’m not really sure why. But yeah, I had a history of it. I just didn’t know it. I just didn’t.
[00:12:27] Yeah, that needs the information to be shared because you can’t heal when you hide stuff.
[00:12:33] Adam Walker: Well and are you doing anything proactively to kind of encourage your family to share that information at this point?
[00:12:40] Sabrina Thomas: Well, yeah, these podcasts that I’m doing, podcasts like this I write about it.
[00:12:46] I do blogs I post about it, you know, I do walks and I’m very active in my community and everything like this. And this is one of the pieces right here, you know, having a conversation with you, you know, and they see me and now they’re like, okay, maybe they’ll come out and say something
[00:13:07] you know, and share their story because the story was it’s for somebody, you know, and it doesn’t have to be a secret. It’s just no secret.
[00:13:16] Adam Walker: Yeah, that’s right. All right. So what, like we talked about your journey from help giver caregiver to receiving help and kind of like the juxtaposition of that.
[00:13:29] I’m curious, what have you learned about yourself through this process?
[00:13:34] Sabrina Thomas: Well, I learned that I’m stronger than I thought because at the beginning I thought I was going to break. Okay. Because it’s a lot, you know, you’re hearing it, it’s, you’re just a lot. I learned that that this test is your faith.
[00:13:47] You know, like other things in life when you go through hard times, I learned, like I said before, I did. I don’t have to be superwoman. At all. You know, I just need you to be a real person with real emotions and real feelings. And that cancer can’t break me. You know? It actually built me, you know, it’s building me to be a better person, more understanding, more grateful, having more gratitude.
[00:14:09] And you know, all my scars that I have, you know, they tell a story about me surviving and thriving and having faith and grace, you know? So that’s what I learned.
[00:14:19] Adam Walker: That’s beautiful. That’s beautiful. All right, Sabrina, last question for you. What advice would you give someone who’s recently diagnosed with breast cancer?
[00:14:27] Sabrina Thomas: Yes, I. Yeah, this is going to be great. I got some take I some takeaways. Breathe. Okay. Take a deep breath. Remember, you are not your diagnosis. Surround yourself with people who speak life into you. Positivity into your life. Ask questions. Right rest when you need to. It’s okay to rest. If you have to cry, scream, shout, get it all that out because your feelings are very valid.
[00:14:56] Pray. Pray I have to stay. Prayed up. Even now, two years later or 10 years later, I got to stay prayed up. Hold onto your faith. Okay. And you can get through this, okay? Advocate for yourself. Speak positivity into yourself. Ask questions. I can’t say that enough. Get second and third opinions, right? But get yourself good community that can support you emotionally as well as financially and spiritually, but emotionally, you need that emotional support
[00:15:26] because cancer is very mental. It’s very mental.
[00:15:29] Adam Walker: That’s great advice. Wow. That was a laundry list of advice. I love it. I love it. Sabrina, you are inspiring. Your path how you’ve cared for your son and how you allowed yourself to be cared for is so admirable.
[00:15:48] And really just appreciate you sharing your story, being vulnerable, being real with us and especially the advice that you’ve given to our community. Thank you so much for joining us on the show today.
[00:15:59] Sabrina Thomas: Thank. Thank you for having me.
[00:16:07] Adam Walker: Thanks for listening to Real Pink, a weekly podcast by Susan G Komen. For more episodes, visit real pink.Komen.org. And for more on breast cancer, visit Komen.org. Make sure to check out at Susan G Komen on social media. I’m your host, Adam. You can find me on Twitter at AJ Walker or on my blog adam j walker.com.