[00:00:00] Adam Walker: From Susan G. Komen, this is Real Pink, a podcast exploring
[00:00:06] real stories, struggles, and triumphs related to breast cancer. We’re taking the conversation from the doctor’s office to your living room.
[00:00:17] Today’s conversation is one that so many mothers will feel deep in their bones because it talks about what happens when life asks you to be the one who needs care. Our guest today has lived that shift in a profound way. In the midst of raising her young children, navigating the everyday chaos and fiercely advocating for her youngest daughter, Nylah, who was born with a congenital heart disease, Nisha Jaime was suddenly diagnosed with breast cancer.
[00:00:46] There is an emotional whiplash to being the strong one for your child and then suddenly needing that same strength for yourself. Nisha will talk to us about what that was like and how she balanced it all with the help of her village. We’ll talk about the ongoing realities of survivorship, including things like scanxiety and continued care and how her children are involved in her journey.
[00:01:08] Most importantly, we’ll hear how she’s turned her experience into support for other mothers walking a similar path and why that mission matters so deeply to her. Nisha, we’re so excited to welcome you back to the podcast. You balance survivorship and motherhood with such grace, and we can’t wait to hear more about your story, so let’s get into it.
[00:01:28] Welcome to the show.
[00:01:30] Nisha Jaime: Hi, Adam. Nice to see you again. Thank you so much for having me back.
[00:01:33] Adam Walker: Yeah, I’m glad to have you. I appreciate you joining us. I know you were just talking about all the things you’re doing and rushing back and I know being a mom and managing all that is not easy.
[00:01:44] So I really appreciate your time. So let’s start tell us about your diagnosis, what was going on in your life, and how did you know something was wrong?
[00:01:54] Nisha Jaime: So it was, you know, around this time, it was May, and I was just getting ready for my kids to be on summer break. So it was an exciting time. I live in Southern California.
[00:02:07] It’s always sunny here, but the summers are really warm, and so we were getting ready just to be spending time out in our pool. We have, we are blessed to have a pool, so, you know, getting ready for the kids to just be out there. At the time, I have twin boys. They were eight at the time, and my little girl was four.
[00:02:26] So it was just a typical Southern California Sunday afternoon, and my husband’s Let’s take the kids out. ” So we had breakfast, and we were getting everybody ready, putting sunblock on. And I remember I was just in the kitchen, and I was fixing my bathing suit straps, and my hands just kind of went over the strap, and I must have looked like I saw a ghost, because my husband’s What’s wrong?”
[00:02:52] And I just remember feeling something here. And I’m like, you know I grabbed his hand and I said, “Feel this and tell me you don’t feel anything,” you know, because I felt like a speed bump. And he’s he just looked at me and all the kids are just standing there because we were literally on our way outside.
[00:03:10] And he’s Just go get that, you know, get that check Monday.” And in my heart it just sank to the floor, you know? And I was like, “Not me. It can’t be me, you know? ” And so after that day, things just went by really quickly. We took the kids out, you know, we went swimming, but just, I just felt so heavy.
[00:03:31] And I went to the doctor probably that following Monday or Tuesday, and I remember that they kind of downplayed it. When I went to get my exam, they, the, I remember the physician’s assis- assistant’s I don’t feel anything there.” And I’m like, “No there’s something there.” You know, she’s I don’t feel anything, you know, maybe come back.”
[00:03:53] And I’m like, “No just, you know, can I please just have, you know a mammogram, you know? ” And thank goodness I was able to walk in, but I’m glad I listened to myself because I was kind of second guessing a little bit. And I remember we had been moving furniture a couple days before and I’m like, “Well, maybe it was like a pulled muscle or something.”
[00:04:13] But, you know, I did, I listened to my intuition even though, you know, medical professionals don’t know everything, you know? So, so good that I listened to that. So it went really fast. You know, I had the mammogram and then I had the biopsy and then I’ll never forget, it was the last day of school and they called me and I was waiting outside and they’re like, “Can you talk?”
[00:04:35] And I just knew, you know, I just knew it then. And they’re like, “Yeah, you know, we hate to tell you this, but you have, you know, breast cancer.” And I feel like life has never been the same since then, you know? It’s like it cuts your time in half. It’s the before and then everything that comes after. So that was in 2022 and it was stage two, HER2 positive breast cancer.
[00:05:00] And so it kind of ruined that summer, if I’m being completely honest. Yeah.
[00:05:05] Adam Walker: Yeah.
[00:05:05] Nisha Jaime: You know? Yeah. And I started chemotherapy on July 5th, and it also ruined my favorite holiday, which is the 4th of July. If you know me, everybody knows that the 4th of July has always been my absolute favorite. I did a gender reveal on the 4th of July and I always have the 4th of July parties, you know, that’s just
[00:05:26] And I started chemo on July 5th, and I was like, this is just a double whammy of tragedy, you know? So, yeah. So that was how my diagnosis came
[00:05:35] Adam Walker: out. And how old did you say your kids were again? I feel like … Did you say four and eight? I, Yeah. So I have twin boys. My boys were eight. Okay. And my daughter was four.
[00:05:45] That is quite the heavy parenting load right there. That- It was. … that many children of that age. And that’s those are ages where it’s very hands on. It’s a very hands-on age, you know?
[00:05:55] Nisha Jaime: Very hands-on. Yeah. It’s very hands-on. And I felt like, how am I going to, like, how am I going to do this, you know?
[00:06:01] How am I going to continue, especially at the start of summer, you know, as parents and moms, summer is that time where you’re so happy that they’re home and you have a list of all the things that you want to do, and then you have this huge weight sitting on your shoulders and you’re like, “I don’t want to
[00:06:18] How can I do anything? How can I even think about anything else?” So it was hard.
[00:06:22] Adam Walker: Yeah, that is tough. And then and in summer, you know I mean, I’m a parent as well and it, it feels it’s just this constant negotiation of they need something at all times always during the summer. So especially at that age.
[00:06:37] So, wow. Okay. So so I also understand your youngest, Nylah, was born with a congenital heart disease and you spent a lot of her early life advocating for her health. What was it like to transition from advocating for your child to all of a sudden, you know, having the tables turn and having to advocate for your, yourself or for your own health?
[00:07:00] Nisha Jaime: So I o- often say that my daughter’s journey with her congenital heart disease really prepared me for breast cancer. In the beginning, I felt like it was extremely unfair because, you know, here I was in the thick of it with her she has a very complex congenital heart disease. She was diagnosed in utero, so I knew about this ever since I was, or she was 20 weeks.
[00:07:25] And so we went through a lot trying to get her the proper care, the proper surgeons, and it was a lot. She had her first open heart surgery when she was just two days old. She’s now eight, and she’s had four open heart surgeries. Her first year of life, it was, like, surgery after surgery.
[00:07:44] She spent so many months in the hospital and my husband and I were just we became experts on the heart and surgeries, you know, and as a parent, you know you don’t even want your kid to have a fever or br- a broken bone, let alone having to have open heart surgery. And so it was really hard, and I learned for her, or through her, you know, how to ask all the tough questions, and how to do the research, and how not to just take what one doctor tells you, you know, as the end all, be all.
[00:08:16] I learned to ask for all the opinions. And so when I got my diagnosis, it was very overwhelming, but, you know, I learned hey I got so many opinions for Nylah on her first surgery, you know, I made sure that I had the best surgeon for her. And so I learned that for myself, I needed that too. So even though I had, you know, my own provider, I had I think three or four opinions.
[00:08:41] And so because my diagnosis was pretty straightforward even still, I got three or four opinions and I ma- I made sure that the treatment was the same across the board for everybody. So I didn’t start any kind of treatment before I knew that. And so being Nylah’s mom, you know, helped me to do that.
[00:09:00] But it was really hard, you know, because I’m like, I don’t, you know, I’m supposed to be here for her, you know, and I didn’t really want to take anything away from that. And she was actually getting ready to have her second pulmonary valve replacement, which is a big surgery. It’s several hours long.
[00:09:18] It’s actually like half of, half a day long, and then it requires her to be in the hospital for at least a week of recovery. And I was going through chemotherapy at the time, and I’m like, I don’t even want to have chemotherapy because there was no way that I was not going to be bedside with her. So I told my doctor That’s fine.
[00:09:36] I’ll have chemotherapy, but I need to still be with my daughter,” you know? And I was so sick, but as a mom, as a dad even, you know, somehow, some way, you get the strength to be with your child no matter what. And as sick as I was, you know, I got my chemo and I was still there when my daughter had her pulmonary valve replacement.
[00:09:55] I slept in the bed with her. I was there and I made it happen, you know? But that was all credit to her, you know, being her advocate, seeing how hard she has powered through surgery after surgery, but it was really weird to be on the other side of that table. But I don’t think I could have done it without kind of being there through her journey.
[00:10:19] She really taught me how to do all that, and I’m grateful for that.
[00:10:22] Adam Walker: That’s some super mom stuff right there. Man I love that. I love … I know it was hard, but man, it’s so, so inspiring to hear you say that, you know, I appreciate it. Thank you. And I know as a mom that’s constantly giving help, right, and giving support, it’s hard to accept help and accept support and sort of rely on the village.
[00:10:44] So, I mean, I wonder can you talk a little bit about, like, how you were able to do that or were you able to do that? Were you able to accept and receive help?
[00:10:52] Nisha Jaime: So yeah it was hard for me at the beginning because I am a person who really takes pride in doing everything myself, even though I come from a wonderful family.
[00:11:03] I have so much support. I have a wonderful parents, brothers, sisters, my husband, wonderful friends, but I like to do things on my own. I take a lot of pride and being able to do it all. I like, I have a career, I like to be that mom that’s the team mom, you know, the mom at school. I like to do all that, but cancer really stopped me in my tracks and was like, “Nope, you’ve got to slow down a little bit, you know?
[00:11:30] You can’t do everything.” And so it, it did take me a while to see and to be okay with asking other people for help. I’m blessed that I didn’t have to go outside of my house really to ask a lot of people for help. I had my parents who helped me a lot. Like I said, my brothers and sisters are inner circle that really helped do everything help us pick up kids especially with my daughter Nylah still going through surgeries while I was going through chemo.
[00:12:01] We had to leave our sons, you know, for one or two weeks while she’s in the hospital recovering. So they stay with my parents and my sister helps pick up, you know, pick them up here, take them to practice. And so I just had to. There was a lot of times during chemo where I couldn’t eat, you know, and I remember being in my kitchen and, you know, the kitchen is kind of like the hub of the home.
[00:12:22] Everyone’s eating, kids are coming to and from practice. And I’m just sitting there. I remember sobbing because I’m starv- I’m literally starving. I haven’t eaten, you’re hungry, but chemo just doesn’t let you eat. And I remember my mom, bless her heart, you know, she’s Let me try this, you know, let me try that, ” you know, and she would cook five, six, seven different things.
[00:12:44] And I remember telling her No, mom, no I don’t want, I don’t want you to. ” But she was really my village. And she was like, “No, let me help you. We’re going to find something that you can eat and don’t worry.” You know, that was, like, her way of just supporting me. And so I stopped saying no, and I would just let her every single time, you know, try.
[00:13:05] And and she would find something that I could eat or drink, you know? And and yeah I had to, you know, that’s the way that I survived by, by letting people help me. And it was mostly my family and my friends.
[00:13:20] Adam Walker: Well,
[00:13:20] Nisha Jaime: I love that. But it’s hard.
[00:13:21] Adam Walker: It sounds like your mom’s a super mom too.
[00:13:23] So that’s, Yes. … that friends in the family. I love it. I love
[00:13:26] Nisha Jaime: it. Yeah. Okay. I think it’s hard though with people with cancer you don’t want to feel like a burden. And I think that’s what a lot of us feel like and you want to, you don’t want to feel helpless and you want to, you’re trying to you’re trying to convince yourself that you know you’re sick, but you’re trying to convince yourself that you can still do things, even though you know that you need that rest, you know, but you still want to do things.
[00:13:50] And for me, it was almost like if I can still do things, then maybe I’m not as sick as I really am, you know? So it’s a weird, it’s a weird thing.
[00:14:00] Adam Walker: Yeah. All right. So, so let’s talk present day. How old are your kids now? Do they ask about your cancer and do they understand the things that you went through and what what survivorship- Yeah.
[00:14:13] looks like or scanxiety or any of that stuff?
[00:14:15] Nisha Jaime: So my boys are 12 now and my daughter’s eight and my daughter’s very seasoned in all things medical because of, you know, her journey and what she has gone through. And my boys too so my, my cancer was estrogen driven, so I go every four weeks to get Lupron shots, and so my kids are very aware of that.
[00:14:39] And with those, you know, I kind of come home and I’ll feel crummy, and I feel crummy for, you know, 24 hours, and it’s normally like a migraine and body aches, you know, it’s different for everybody, but they know, you know, they’re like, “Oh, you’re going to get your shot today. Okay, mom, hope you feel better,” you know?
[00:14:54] And it’s not so hyped up as it was when I’m, like, getting radiation or chemo, but they know. Also, when I was first diagnosed I really didn’t say cancer around them, and I didn’t want anybody to say that around them because I knew what gravity the word cancer holds, especially for little kids.
[00:15:14] Now that it’s been, you know, almost four years I feel like cancer isn’t so scary for them because I’ve gotten better, and so it’s more of it’s okay to be in our, you know, conversation here and there. They know that I get scans every so often. I also suffer from migraines a lot, and so that’s something that they’ll be like, “Oh, mom, is it like, do you have a headache today?
[00:15:37] Is the cancer back?” But it’s not it’s not very heavy. It’s more of a casual Is it back?” You know and I’ll be like, “No, it’s not back. I just, you know, I just have a headache today. I’ll be fine.” You know, but it’s just not so heavy. And I appreciate that and that’s because they’ve seen that I’ve gotten better.
[00:15:55] And they know me, you know, they do know about the scans and I’ll say No, it’s not back. It’s just I have to get scanned every so often just to make sure.” And it’s just more casual nowadays. But I appreciate that and I know I like keeping them in the conversation because it’s important because the chance of recurrence is, you know, a possibility and I like that they’re kind of in the mix of kind of what’s happening because I like to be honest with them and they’re now at a older age, even though they’re still young it’s important that they know, you know, what, what’s happening.
[00:16:28] Adam Walker: So, so going back to your you know your super mom supported your daughter, your su- your supermom supported you, and now you’re also a mom that supports other moms through their cancer experiences. And so I wonder can you just talk to me a little bit about why you do that and why that’s so important to you?
[00:16:47] Nisha Jaime: Yeah. I think that, you know, support can even be very small, and that’s what I do. You know, support can be very small, but still very meaningful and impactful. You know, just a couple of days ago, my son was like, “Hey, mom, guess what? My teacher’s mom has breast cancer. Is that weird?” And I’m like, “That’s not weird, but, you know, that sucks,” you know?
[00:17:09] And he, I mean, he’s in middle school, so those are the terminology that he uses. And I’m like, and I’m like, “Well, if you’re comfortable you know, let her know that I had breast cancer.” And he’s Oh yeah, I told her. I told her, Hey, my mom had breast cancer, you know, she’s, she can talk to your mom if she has any questions.”
[00:17:22] And so just that, I, you know, I like to kind of be there just on that personal level because I remember when I was going through my treatment phase, I would go to the social media support groups and not to say that they’re not good, but there’s a lot of like heavy, like bad stuff in there, you know?
[00:17:43] And so I felt like connecting with people like in my local community on a more personal basis, whether that be like meeting them at like the coffee shop or like at the baseball game, you know, at the Little League or texting them, I felt like I got more better advice and better like roadmaps from people in like my everyday life.
[00:18:04] And so that’s what I’m just trying to pay back in my own way. And so, you know, I do stuff like that. I was getting my Lupron shot just a couple of days ago and there was a mom there who had a little boy with her. He must have been like two years old and I know she had just gone through chemo because she had her hair wrapped and I felt so bad for her because I’m a mom.
[00:18:25] I know what it’s like to t- around a two-year-old at, you know, a doctor appointment. And she just looked like very overwhelmed and I sat next to her and I’m like, “Can I help, you know, can I help you with him?” And she’s Oh, please thank you. ” You know, and I had a little game on my phone. And so I was like, “Hey, buddy,” you know, and so I’m just like helping her for five minutes while I’m waiting to be called in there, you know, only because I know what it’s like to be waiting for them to call you at the cancer center.
[00:18:51] And I don’t have a kid with me, but she does, you know? So it’s nothing major. It’s just little things like that, you know, that I’m trying to do. Also, during Breast Cancer Awareness Month, you know, I do little fundraisers. I always find like a local mom here that needs help with like groceries or gas cards.
[00:19:09] And I just do that on my social media asking people around here to kind of help, you know, just, it’s small stuff. And I do the same thing for my daughter’s community during congenital heart disease month. Like we do fundraisers for the local children’s hospital. And it’s just, it’s really just my way of giving back because I know how heavy it could feel to be parts of these like medical communities.
[00:19:32] And even just the smallest like token of like support really means a lot when you’re in the thick of it. So again, it’s nothing like, it’s not huge grand gestures, it’s just small things. And then I also participate like in the Komen three-day walks and the More Than Pink Walks. And those are just important for me as a survivor as well as just like a volunteer in the breast cancer community.
[00:19:56] Adam Walker: That’s right. I love that. I love that. All right. So, so last question. You mentioned earlier that you sort of pride yourself on being the mom that sort of balances it all, you know, like career and room mom and team mom and all those sorts of things. And so, so what advice do you have for other mothers that are, you know, struggling through breast cancer and are struggling to balance all of it?
[00:20:20] Nisha Jaime: I would just say don’t put so much pressure on yourself. I’ve really learned that over the course of my journey because as a mom, there’s so many things like that happen on Saturday and Sundays, right? There’s so many games, especially if you have multiple children, so many games, so many parties, and I would, you know, back in the day, pre-cancer, I would try to make every single thing, and now I just don’t have the bandwidth to do that, and that’s okay.
[00:20:47] And so I give myself, you know, permission and grace to miss all those things, and not to say that it’s not going to disappoint a child, you know, it might disappoint your son or daughter, and so what I’ve learned to do is just you know, make it up to them a different way Hey, buddy, we’re probably not going to make it to everybody’s birthday party today, but, you know, we’ll send that kid a gift, and instead of going to that, you know, jumping park today, let’s have you know, a movie day in our own living room and let’s hang out together,” you know?
[00:21:17] So we’re s- I’m still spending time with my kid and my kids still having fun, but we just can’t make it to every birthday party today, but we’ll send a gift. And, you know, because I just can’t do it. I don’t have the same kind of energy that I had before I had breast cancer. Even though, you know, now I may look, you know, my hair’s back, my eyebrows are back.
[00:21:36] I look you know, Nisha before cancer. I’m not that girl anymore, you know? I don’t have that much energy and strength and I just don’t want to spread myself thin like that anymore, you know? And so that’s my main advice is just, you know don’t put that pressure on yourself and also just don’t let what could have been consume you, because sometimes I do that a lot where I’m like, “Oh, gosh, you know, so much could have been, but cancer took this and cancer took that and I just don’t let that consume me anymore.
[00:22:08] And I’m just really focused on moving forward.” And I always tell people it could be bad some days, but there’s still so much good left.
[00:22:17] Adam Walker: Yeah. That’s beautiful. That’s beautiful. There’s still so much good left. Well, Nisha, you’re a super mom. You’re an inspiration and I so appreciate you sharing your journey and your story with us.
[00:22:31] Thank you for joining us on the show today.
[00:22:32] Nisha Jaime: Thank you, Adam. I appreciate it.
[00:22:40] Adam Walker: Thanks for listening to Real Pink, a weekly podcast by Susan G. Komen. For more episodes, visit realpink.comen.org, and for more on breast cancer, visit Komen.org. Make sure to check out at Susan G. Komen on social media. I’m your host, Adam. You can find me on Twitter at AJ Walker or on my blog, adamjwalker.com.